? Monday, January 25, 2010
Before i start writing, jus wan to remind ppl who reading it, i suppose tis blog, is my most rude(full of vulgar) post. if can't take it, plus click close window. ty
hihi, im slpless again...
slp arn 1145pm den wake up at 1am.
now is 145am. n im using my small netbk...
went fb, saw something.
I noe y i can't slp, coz of the same old reason. tiring topic, tiring problems. a problem settle, b comes again. non stop, n kaypoh de me, of coz wan to poke into it lo. haha, n the best part is! not my problem either, i duno y i so concern abt it.. really wtf me
Hmm.. suddenly im stuck, duno wat to write....
Curiousity kills a cat. lol, i think im the cat sia, but im not being kill by others, but by myself... some ppl say me is zi xun fan nao.
Sometime i do de things, in the end, result is not wat i wan to see, can be quite sad de. sometimes things i dun wish to hear, but jus so bu xiao xin, saw ppl toking abt it, i also sian, coz my curiosity engine start, is hard to turn off. Sometimes things which i dun wish to see it, but so lucky, let me see it.
Somethings whn i say out, i also scare ppl wil misunderstood me. coz the way i present to them, maybe tone is not tat appropriate.. if not,, maybe some ppl will think i dislike it, tats y i kip saying/bring it up again.
Seriously, me-janice, not those type of person, eat too full, nth to do, like to care abt ppl so much. frankly im really a very fuck up person... u die is ur problem, i dun really gif a damm... especially to those hi-bye ppl... im dao.. more dao den any other ppl arn me. Frenz used to call me cold-blood. which frankly, i truely agree.
i will only treat those very close to me de gd, the rest all i simply bo chap.
But sad to say tat, sometimes i really feel im not being appreciated by close ones. Which im really sad abt it. of coz sometimes i noe my over concern is turning to be controling ppl life, which i also admit is my fault... i duno how to show my care n concern in a well comfortable manner for both parties...
I feel really bad.. bad towards my family, towards my jie, towards those who love me, those who dotes on me.... bad abt wat? hmmm, how to elaborate ler.....
Family: coz of my personal interest, i haf really neglect them. i m so obsessed into it tat, whn parents go out, i also duno...
Today only me n mum at hm... arn 7, she happily tel me, eat tis for dinner ok? i say okie. den 730 she told me, charity show start le, wan watch mah?
But i nv.. wat m i doing? playing games lor... 9plus she off tv, say she tired, wan go take a nap 1st. Sigh~ i nv pei her watch, i nv pei her eat.. all i do is facing my PC.
In the end is, sis reach hm arn 10-11. eat wif mum. cry!
Jie: my personal interest, affect her alot also i guess. she is always the one kana my arrows, my unreasonable mood swing arrows. wtf me, really cmi sia... Seriously im not a gd mei in audi, in rl, am i a gd mei? im nt sure, but im doing my best to be one...
Again, i kip reminding myself, she really tolerate me alot liao, but i always find things to argue wif her, or make her mood goes bad... really cb, ma de..
semo count to 100 count to 10, i think i count to 1000 also no use. bloody shit me.
whn i wan to find out/say de things, eventually i will shoot out.
i think the counting part for me is to prolong the time for my suay mouth to shoot harsh words out nia ? 'argh.. im so angry wif myself....
Im really not a gd mei in audi.....
Frenz: frenz sms me, again, becoz of my personal interest, i hack care those sms.
i think i will only reply to dajie, erjie, aunty de sms bah... the rest maybe nd to wait till i finish playing or free den will reply?
got one fren, he stil nd to send me 2nd sms ask me since afternoon.. the other one maybe hrs later den i reply. one mayb nxt time whn i scan back my inbox den i saw le den will reply.
wakakkakakakaka. really fuck up liao la...
I really change. now i look back, wat i wrote, i also find myself a really cmi person. who is tis ugly person? seriously now whn i think back all my previous acts, those hurt dao ppl de, those neglect ppl de.. i dun even wan to look into the mirror... im rubbish huh...
y shud i deserve all these nice ppl by my side?
CrY~~~
signing off
J, 230am
I LOVE EUU. 1:37:00 AM