? Monday, January 18, 2010
duno y my tears kip falling ler... especially whn the more she dun take it to heart, the more i feel bad...
i think jes saw i cry today le, coz she say tmr she gg tell mum story ler... i nv say a single thing to her either.... sigh~ i also duno wat she gonna say...
Tears auto will flow out now, now writng blog, think of it, my tap auto on again...
Jus now playing games, al the while im there, sometimes misses alot, as now im trying not to use H le..
i wan to train my skills, but simple 100~ I also misses alot.
actually im jus a empty shell having those high lvl.
Whn jie ask me mai talk? i wan to tok de, but i duno wat to tok... all in my mind is sry...
i think tis is the 1st time i feel super guilty n bad towards her... in the past i dun haf tis feeling before... i wan ask her abt her outing today de, coz i wan to noe everything abt her... but tis time i dun dare, even though i so dying to noe(kaypoh) how issit liao...
Im really uselesss ler... do wrong things stil dare to cry so much... i dun expect ppl come console me or wat, some things i said to her now, i dun mean to say tat either.. whn she ask me seriously wan take back my words mah, i really stun there, i duno how to reply.. coz deep in my heart, tats not wat i wan de ending...
I rather she blame me or scold me rather den taking nth has happen before... Now i m very very guilty towards her...
We stil haf some places haven go tgt de.. but after tis incident, i feel so bad, to appear infront of her...
;sobss... im so afraid later i cry infront of her...
aunty always ask me dun think so much, but i really can't forgive myself tis time...
ahhhh.... im feeling so sad n sick ler, today diarhhea 3 times, kip cry... :( i dun feel like gg to work also, i jus wan my bed n pillow to cover my head... im so lousy tis time...
Last time my beloved grandma die, i nv cry at all, although im quite close to her. Everyone cry till very cham, even those normally very strong de uncles also cried...
1st time break up wif my ex, i also cried a few days jiu hao le....
this time rd, i duno y my tears got so much to flow out ler... non-stop de
This time, I really lose to emotions le....
2am le, n i dun feel slpy at all... ahhhh, hope my eyes dun be swollen tmr...
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I LOVE EUU. 1:13:00 AM
