? Monday, February 8, 2010
now is 2am.
faint. i wrote those 3 posts since 11plus til now.
quite tired actually. but i wan faster post it 1st, in case i STM again.
continue to say, Reach hm at 10pm. den go bath n wash hair, den immediately i on PC. nv tot of gg audi de. i jus wan to post blog le, den jiu go slp. but i suddenly thinking, wah, will my audi cpl break wif me anot, tis 2 days i online audi nv see him also. lol. i siao liao, den i hand itchy go login audi, leaving my blog webby open.
i thinking login see gt the split request anot, jiu log out. but i kaypo, go see who online
then i saw jie, jade, tomo, aunty.
wahhh suddenly so happy, thy all playing in the rm tgt neh~ den i go inside lor.
den i saw jie caption is new start. initially i tot, wah she married liao ar? but whn i go inside the rm, she told me mit her cpl. dazed huh. i stun tio.
i was thinking, where is tat LS. den my stupid brain kip thinking those kns thing, den start to so called quarral wif jie liao. i was thinking, y in the 1st place, we quarral coz of LS, she can becos of ls break her promise towards me, den now, she can break off wif ls den cpl another guy so easily..den last time quarral de things, break promise de things, hurt dao me de things, all jiu suan liao mah?
den she say me, y i hold grudges? last time i do those (invade her privacy) she also nv say me.
i really duno... i nv hold grudges towards her... i dun wan to quarral wif her especially regards audi de thing... well, i htink other than audi de things, we nv quarral before also.
today we did it again. she jus tel me wan scold her jiu scold, she wun say anything. hais... i dun even intend to scold her, n who m i haf the right to scold her also... im jus her mei, even her parents dun say her, y shud i?
Sigh~~~~~~~~~~
At tat pt jus now, i jus thinking, someone i really trusted alot alot, break promise to me in rl... Im really hurt n it really affect our r/s. She told me even if we quarral, our rl also wun change, wil be the same. den i ask her, same mah? she say ya. den she ask me i dun? i reply her no....
Sad rite? im bad rite? i also think so. but tats wat i feel. She can let the past goes, the incident which i dis-respect her privacy thing. But i seems to be so petty, kip say her abt break promise de things...
although it has affect me, but i also duno y, i still treat her as gd as before. although sometimes i selfish or petty, say mai care abt her liao, but i can't. Say nia, i can't do it.
Coz all tis while, whn im alone, she is always here to pei me. whn she noe i like tis, like eat tis, wan go where, she will try to accomodate n fulfil. Among all frenz i haf over all tis yrs, she is one tat really treat me very gd.
Im always so cong dong.. shoot things out without thinking. is my fault again. i think i can't change de bah.. ppl arn me say until wan vomit blood liao, i also same old pattern. i tot my heart can be wider de. i tried n tried, but y the results doesn't change much de....
She kip forgive n forget, im so guilty............
So sorry. i really disturbed dao jie de life liao~~
She always treat me so gd, even jus now i say her, she also nv blame me, n stil ask me go slp in a concern manner. crY~!!!!
Er JIe is always so nice to me....
Er Jie kip buy me gift, bring me go eat, bring me go places i wan to go, treat me so gd.
but i so bad~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kip bully her...
I really dun like audition. Always hai me quarral wif jie. i really hate it
But i noe jie thru audi de.... cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Other den erjie, no more ppl whom i can tell my things liao. Dajie put me aeroplane today... sad si wo, n i haf given up liao, she always seems so busy, 2yrs of holding on, im really really tired. is jus like a 1-way traffic... :( y am i always the one holding, y m i alway feel so xin ku. si dajie, she say after cny den mit, although now i say i mai care abt her liao, lol, maybe after cny u will see me post, i go date dajie out again. hahaha, i cheap rite? Faint.
Er jie is slightly better, but i feel we abit far as compared to the past le. i duno she gt realise anot, but i feel it. Like our everyday gt contact lifestyle, is lesser than before le... duno is i sensitive or wat, but jus feeling... im trying hard not to let go so easily. hope we can last very long bah.
For dajie i can hold 2yrs n im still holding, for erjie, i hope i can also...
I will try my best not to let go anyone of them.
Really can't bear lo...
I dun haf so many 25yrs to find another jie ;mua
Finish posting.. time now is 230am
I LOVE EUU. 1:48:00 AM
