? Wednesday, January 6, 2010
after today's incident, i also gt wrong... very sad also.. i wun wan to quarral de...
After Toking wif aunty, frm the chat, really, there are some blind spots, i nv notice.
Especially to her, sometimes i really go too far le bah~
everytime she has to gif in to my unreasonable, weird, wateva shit attitude i gif her... seriously beside my family, she is the nxt one who is so tolerant towards me.
But sometimes i jus take her for granted without realisation..
More freedom, more respect, more consideration? i think tis is all i lack to gif her... i may haf given or share wif her many new things in life but i feel tats not enuff huh...
I think part of my "bad" attitude towards her like tis, maybe coz im too protective towards her huh.. i really duno y~ i jus noe, i treat her is like treating my own sis, Own family...
I really duno wats her feel, will she feel stress? defensive?
Ahhhhh~ how le, i really duno~ i jus wan we all can happily- play tgt, go out tgt, tok tgt.. tats all... i really dun like arguements, quarrals, watever.. coz to me, once the thing is broken, no matter how hard we fix, there will stil be scar... forgive n forget? forgive but nv forget? which one is me?
i believe both of us is the same... we hold back our temper alot le huh... lol, of so many ppl, towards her, i really hold back my temper alot, i think i nv show her my temper before? (in rl). Even in audi, we kip having conflicts, but whn comes to rl mit, i nv wan to bring the topic out to say also.. hmm, i stil like the rl her.
Sometimes i really feel very xinku, kip sad de...
i think both of us feel the same thing also... she is those type who seldom wan to voice out, unlike me... at least i gt blog to pour, she got who? me? lol, but if she quarral wif me, i dun think she will pour to me so much bah~ her forgiving level is really high de~ unlike me :(
but so far, i very direct n frank to her. i can feel she is also bah, towards me... but if my feel is inaccurate, i hope she will bah~
Sometimes she say she feel guilty towards me, always make me sad... is the truth she is always the reason tat make me sad, but seriously i nv blame her at all, coz i understand, i also play a part in it. Everything takes 2 hands to clap..
cry! wat happen to me ler.... im sooooo.. haiz no words can describe me liao... im so bad but yet so fortunate got her... cry~!! i tot baddie will haf no gd end, why i got nice ppl arn me, doting me so much?
I really love tis jie de, as much as i love my family... sobss* i nd to reflect again~ i shall improve
I LOVE EUU. 1:32:00 AM
