? Wednesday, October 31, 2007
2day work, nth new.. juz type type type.. again, dunno y, my back aches alot.. really painful :(
hai~
after work went down DW, Qw told me she has succeed in her talk with parents.. i was really happy for her, she finally taken a big step out, out of fear.. ^_^ tats gd! Hope her journey in the future is really smooth, and can climb up the stairs steadily...
For me?
hmmm.. dunno y, sad not becos of i can't get any sales, tats not the main point i will still wanna stay in this job... Its Becoz of the nite heart to heart talk to parents, makes me understand better. understand myself, my family, the people arn me better.. in the past i was very proud, always think tat wat i wanna do will juz make it even.. i have put in 100% effort...
But, i was wrong.. hmm, can say tat non of my frenz has seen me cried before.. why? coz i have high pride mah.. dun wanna let ppl see the other side of me... Frenz always say knowing me for 10++ years, still dun understand me..
Tats y i seldom cried, i dun cry de, unless... the impact is quite hard..
Thinking back the time i cried till very JIALAT is:
1) I fail my 'O' Level English paper... I thought i have given my best le, but still get D7
2) I was working at DIY store, kana bully by ppl is ok for me. Wat makes me damm sad is, those person whom i have respect the most, given my best in work.. In the end, wat i get is thy say i m useless, attitude, dunno how to work, only noe how to act cool... 1 aunty always treats me like her daughter, tell my fren to tell me not to come down to look for her, whn i m free, she dislike me.. ha.. upon hearing tis, heart breaks.. i have met 2side ppl.
3) i know a fren, she treats me really very gd, she listen to my problems.. in the end, ppl arn me object me from going near her, saying many negative things abt her, but i dun care, coz frenz is mine, i noe the best.. I like her as my talking companion, coz around me, i dun have any frenz who really wanna listen to my problems ( happy or sad things).
In the end, my fren misunderstood my personality, saying she dun wan to contact me anymore. Wah,, damm heart shattering.. Becos of tis fren, my parents ask me move out to live, i dun care still contact her, in the end she misunderstood me, dun wanna listen to my explanation.. Hmmm.. Friends?
4) DW: is a company i join recently. i really like tis company, like the frenz and colleagues i known here.. hehe, strong bonding between everyone.. 1 day, i talk to my parents abt my job. i hope tat thy will get to benefit, get to use tis product which i can say there is 100% advantage to us, 0% disadvantage to us.. It really helps us de, i hope my parents can get to use it, so i discuss with them, told them my thoughts, i really hope tat their health will stay better, stronger..
In the end.. hmm... many talkings, many many... Tat nite really shit, tears automatic drop down whn my fren called me ask me how.. kao~
also dunno how to answer her, she keep consoling me, haha, ask me dun be sad, but how wor, automatic thing cannot shut off de.. Why tears drop?
Becos i really put in 101% heart in it.. but, parents juz told me not to pressure them anymore. but i never.. really.. if i have the $$ i sure buy for them de.. but the worst thing is.. i m useless.
Working for around 4years, i never been of any help to tis family.. instead thy are really supportive.. upon tis few days thinking, i hope i can cool my mind down, choose my path to go...
i wil also try my very best not to let ppl around me worrying abt me, see the other side of me...
I LOVE EUU. 11:56:00 PM
