Other Side of ^me

Smurfs Dar

2011-09-18T21:48:00.001+08:00

I SMURF MY DARIA <3 Loves <3

Changes

2011-05-29T10:08:00.003+08:00

CHanges makes me feels great!
I changed my hairstyle recently.

My toot love didn't recognise me for a second!
Initially i guess he cannot really get used to my new hairstyle, so do myself n family!
But luckily after days later, the more we look, the more we like it! haha GreaT!
even colleagues all say nice. looks fresher, cuter (hahaha), more cheerful! gdgdgd :D

this little change of mine really makes a small diff in me, my tots, my attitude

Mr lim finally exam over....... Oh man! it was such a tough time during that period, and im happy today that we both had walk it thru... thanks to him, not giving up on our r/s
both plays a very impt role in this r/s. the story cant continue w/o either one of us.
We both noe wats n where the problem lies, and now is getting better... hope this last for lifetime, not temp.

Hope we all can jy
Jy to maintain a long lasting r/s, there is still a long way to go...
Jy in my work, hope i can get a better job scope.

hope all my "emo" frenz can be better in their life. as i everytime see them post emo things on fb. hmmmmmm, mostly is abt BGR. I can understand, hope they can walk it thru also

Thats life! Face it, Accept it, CHANGE IT!

What is love

2011-05-22T19:43:00.003+08:00

What is love?

commit? accept? change? trust? communication?

Afterall, i still unsure hw to define love

Sweet, bitter, ups n downs.... Tiring

Sometimes i wish i can really let go, let go of everything. BGR is simply a too tiring 'thing' to me. Im not a gd player in this.
We mus adapt n adjust to each other, in every forms. Why mus we do this?

i tot life shud be very simple. I breath, i live.
Actually life is not as simple as we think.
Everything we do affect ppl arn us.

Sigh~ I'm really really really tired. Dont feel like gg on anymore.

Right now i jus wan to be alone, all by myself. do things i wan.
i wan to be happy every moment of my life. i wan to forget abt everything

Reality is so 'evil'

Work is stressing me alot, affecting me alot alot. Now im over-going a stage of almost mental breakdown. who can help me? I guess no one. only i can get myself out of this "shit"

Love... worst. my so-called dear, im find tat im quite selfish ar. he did alot for me, but i jus duno y i cannot seems to really give him 100% patience n understanding.
Y i can give strangers/friends 100% but not him.
Am i taking him for granted unknowningly? Maybe Yes
Quite unfair to him.
Currently i feel tat we are not suitable to move on to the next stage. Problems not lies with him, but me...
i also duno why this feeling is so strong tat i dun wish to go on anymore.
i jus wan to be alone alone alone. can i ?

Can i really spend my life walking alone?
I dun wan to drag him down, coz i duno wat is love actually... cannot be unfair to others

Everything he do, i can see n feel is for the sake of our future.
Housing, marriage all burden lies on him
Should we continue ? or shall we put a end now?
?_?_?_?_?_?_?_?_?_?

How to do to make myself change my thinking or clear my mind to let me think more simpler?

Relationship is the most difficult "thing" to handle in my whole life.

Oh god................. pls help

Janice

2010-06-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

understand n know

2010-06-03T13:24:00.002+08:00

I understand, accept, agree

J8

2010-06-01T17:00:00.001+08:00

630am: Har chOo~~ **sniff**
recently early morning same pattern, today worst, running nose... maybe ytd drench abit

7am: Ouch~~~ pppiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssss, step back, take cloth wipe hand...
wanted to get some warm water to eat med before leaving off for work de...
Press hot water kettle dispenser, water hit dao the spoon inside my cup and splash out onto my hand.. (~_~.) red red pain pain my "ouch" alert dao mummy.
then i go put my hand under running water~~
in the end still nd mummy help me filled my cup wif warm water gif me

1pm: go lunch, cannot finish my "hor fun", drank green tea... very full
4pm: boss go home le, my things finished le, got free time now, so come write blog... later after work gg Bishan J8 buy things. Super cold now, duno issit air con. stomach not feeling well, backache too, vision getting worst.
Feel tired easily recently, for the past weeks, every night keep having dreams...

5pm: finished all my work le... no more pending things on hand liao... clearing my PC stuff, happen to come across a pic which i saved last time. Hmmm.... really makes sense.

PS: No news doesn't mean I'm gone, never ask doesn't mean i don't care... Keeping quiet doesn't mean i can't feel or i don't know... Well, all i hope is my 6th sense this time won't be so accurate... **Pray hard**

End of day: "Its getting worst... happened 5 times today (-_-.)"

Bejewell!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-15T20:12:00.002+08:00

Jie Jie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You owe me one gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lalallalalaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~

On 15 May 2010, 812pm

Finally finally!!! i break the 1m score le!

Jiejie give me exam (pass bejewel 1m score), den i say i break le i wan present!!!!

she will give me present~~~

wakkkakakakakaa~ yippieee!!! hurray~~!!!!! pressie pressie~ (^v^)

Don't break ur promise ya Jiejie~ ;shy ;shy

Happy Birthday to ErJie

2010-05-10T15:26:00.005+08:00

Today is my Jie Birthday~~

hereby sing her a song ;shy;shy

Made her a cake ;shy ;shy

Ahem~~~

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday to Dear Jie~

Happy Birthday to You.

From good friends and true,

From old friends and new,

May good luck go with you,

And happiness too.

From your pig mei~
muacks!

how to use? Mothers' day

2010-05-09T20:12:00.003+08:00

how to use iphone!!! >.<
i wan yan jiu how to change ringtone, but cannot~ i duno
crY~! yan jiu whole afternoon also cannot figure out...
JIe say will teach me cos she smart smart... keke,
nxt time meet her, see wat she knows =x

Kekekeke!!! I got free bejewel game!! Got it free frm jiejie
ty jiejie~ muacks! muacks!
After dl, i kip play... coz jie say her high score is 900k =_=
i kip play until get 300k nia~ MoooOoO! how to get so high -_-
Play until my eyes blur diao, colors colors colors @_@
After dl i play till 7plus.. 2hrs, still can't get !!! cRY!!!!!!
i believe one day i will get it de (**bang wall**)

After dinner i change game, play tap tap revenge~
;shy i kip miss... Jes ask me wat i doing! so easy also miss >.<"

MoOoO!!!! I believe 1 day i will conquer these 2 games !!!!
Stop laughing at me!! ;sobss

Now rest for a while write n post previous postssssssss...later i gg conquer the 2 GAMES! hmphx
Ahhh, now hor my lower lips hor, duno kana wat bite, gt a small "bao" (swollen liao 0_0")

Tmr is Jie birthday! keke, but now i think she also no mood, kana "flood" by her notes liao
she got 2 papers nxt week. Over here, I will always pray the best of luck for her
Hope she mai stress, my jie not stupid afterall
I'm looking forward to her treat on sept (^_^)

Toot pig~
Mai stress hor, do ur best jiu hao...
Advance Happy birthday to you you youuuuuuuu
Muackssss!

Today is Mothers' day

Wish all Mothers A Very Happy Mothers' Day
Mothers are the BEST on EARTH
LOVE MUMMY

iphoneeeeeeeeee

2010-05-08T22:12:00.002+08:00

My hp gg dead soon, in case it really died off, i thinking of selling it...
I love it alot de, samsung jet
but i scare later spoilt le den no value to sell liao

this mornin i called singtel den thy gave me $90 voucher
haha, den i check, my samsung jet worth arn $200
then if i sign on this plan is $248
after deduction i no need pay anything...
swee! if need to pay, den i wun buy le... so ex :(

I think very long liao...
Always wanted to get an iphone/itouch, last time i aim itouch 2nd hand de, $120, but at tat time i no $ buy, den whn i gt the money le, the itouch sold out :( always like tat de...

Today go Hello!shop buy~(saying of Hello shop reminds me of Erjie, last time i tell her i outside Hello!shop wait, she tell me she at Goodbye shop~ my lame jie -_-") but i go outside 2nd hand hp store sell my samsung jet $180

den i bought a charger for my samsung soul (still alive, put as spare hp), a screen protector, a leather casing.. All 3 items cost $15. lol, tis boss very gd, gif me good discount ;shy

This iphone let me yan jiu whole day.
Since afternoon 4plus reach hm, eat le then yan jiu till now (1130pm)

Ahhh~ super tired... my back pain, eyes closing.
Iphone inside nt much things, jes come hm say y no games de (>.<)

Today went to ATM activate my card.
I activate le, but duno how to change my pin
;sobs, i feel so noob. simple things also duno how to do myself, still need ask jes help me change...
sigh~ tmr nt tired den ask her pei me go downstairs atm change bah... noob me (><)

Super tired... tis few days nt enuff rest, my back very pain eyes very itchy.
keep sneezing... hot day also sneezing :(
this afternoon raining very heavily~ abit drench *Har ChOooo~~**

Nite nitezzzzzzzzzzzzzz

meet Dajie

2010-05-07T23:00:00.001+08:00

Meet dajie!!!!

Swee!!! after 1month plussssssssssssssss finally can meet her le!
haha, meet up wif my sisters go out wif them, is my most happy moments ^_^
Dajie reach 1st, den she sit at the traffic light there wait for me ;shy
She really slim again la~ omg lo, she 43kgs nia (>.<)
But healthy jiu hao kekekekke so happy!!!!!

Went suki sushi for dinner. Now dun haf the $0.99 le :(
Is $1.19, still cheaper than other sushi restuarant... hahaha, next time i wan go again with dajie n erjie!!!!

I eat abit only, dajie say i on diet issit, eat so less... (if erjie know, she will say same thing too)
I ate potato, 3 tempura, 2 small salmon sushi and ice water
haha, i noe really very little, for my dinner :D (Rachel's treat today)

After tat we went to walk walk, i go coach see see :)
walk until dajie n rachel leg pain pain, coz thy wear heels, den we went settle down at Shaw there de mac talk talk~
chat until 10plus den take go take cab.
haha, dajie leg cannot make it liao, she really tired, can understand also~ keke

I also very sleepy, den also take cab home $8.
cab uncle very nice, he ask me wan go by which route, i say anything, CTE also can
den he say, now CTE still got charge the ERP, or he go buy thomson or marymount better?
I say oh ya hor, ERP until 1030.
keke, uncle so nice, help me save $$ ;shy die

Janice is SUPER HAPPY !!!!!!
Can meet my Dajie n Erjie!
hahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!

Love them~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muacks

Muackss

Muacksss

Pig Jie advance birthday dinner!

2010-05-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

Finally~

i waited for so many months finally this day arrive!
keke~ ppl might tot i sot liao, wats so special abt this day...
to me is a really special

I remember 2009 May, i get to know tat some one ate magiee mee on her birthday, at tat pt i was thinking, ahhh~ i shud haf ask her out n treat her neh~
but at tat time, i duno this person well, only know her in audi.

I was already thinking, if 1 year later, i'm on good term with this person, then i must ask her out for a dinner on her birthday month...
And Yes! my wish come true
Unbelievable rite? I waited for 1 yr n i nv told anyone before...
haha, i jus wan to fulfil a simple wish, simply just to hope this girl won't feel lonely again on her birthday...

Fate bring us together, and yes i strongly believe in FATE
Today this girl become my sister, whom i call her Jie...

She is understanding, nv scold me before even i done something very wrong (something till today i still cannot forgive myself). She is really a wonderful jie, i'm fortunate to have her.

Since then i have been thinking, wat shud i gif her neh~

Den slowly i get to know her better, whenever got go out with her, i will obvserse her character,her fav colors, her like/dislike for things, the things she wear, the things she use, the things she likes to see whn gg shopping, her lifestyle etc.... All must take note lor
Big project huh~ hahahaa

In the end, my gifts were:

Really hope she really really like it... Not ex, not nicely nor artistic-ly done up.... Just simple me giving my sister simple gifts, containing my heart n effort. Tats all...

Ok, today is 6 May 2010

Jie actual birthday is 10 May 2010, celebrating with her in advance

Jie treat me eat pizza~ $30+
1 year i nv get to eat 3times pizza... Jie keep say wan bring me go eat, treat me... Keke, ty jiejie

As promised before, i will gif her priceless gifts ever. Tat is my hug n smile!
haha, 1st time i initiated to hug a person, ahhhh, very very ps, but ok la, jiejie mah hahaha;shy
Actually whn hug her, i almost wan cry out, hmm... coz the feeling was like after so many many things happened between us, over the past 1 year, n now today, we are still as good as ever, and right here standing in front of me is my jie. It's really a undescribable feelings, gandong till the max. But heng, nv cry lols! Later scare dao her jiu bad.

This meet out, i can feel n see her face filled with happiness.
I'm really happy about it.
Saw her iphone, ring, wallet,guess mostly is her bf buy de
Not only tat, her face shows everything, especially when she talks abt her bf, tat look in her eyes, well she is happy, as her mei, also will be happy for her...
happy tat her bf treats her very good.

She seems to have good mood, good sleep, good eat, this 1 month never meet her, she must be happy with her life :)

Jie say i slim liao, haha, i tell her is my hair straight tats y looks slim.
Lolx, actually i really got lost weight for the past 1 mth, add up the losts since last dec-i have lost quite alot of weight.
I fan too much, keep fan abt ppl things, keep kaypoh abt ppl things, keep wan this, wan tat from ppl... haha, tat ppl is jiejie
But during this few months i see, i learnt, i grow, i accept, i changed.

I hope im changing for the better, 1 jie suffer coz of me liao, i dun wan another person suffer again coz of my unreasonable, inconsiderate character le...

Now, i feel relieved...
Seeing all my 3 sisters all happily in love, happy in life, in good health, work ok
Having them is my best birthday present liao
For this year and many years ahead.
They meant a lot to me, their happy n unhappy affects me alot.

They happy, I'm happy, we are happy family!

Lastly, I wanna wish my Pig Pig~

Happy Birthday!!!!

Muacks!

busy~~~~~~~~~~~

2010-05-05T22:00:00.001+08:00

No time liao~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 May (Sun)
From 1pm do gifts till 6pm
rest for dinner n bath n continue to do from 8pm-1130pm

3 May (Mon)
today shifu say i keep smile, she say i advertising for Darlie's toothpaste issit?
lol, i also duno y, jus can't keep stop smiling.
Thy tot i sot diao le~
At work go home.
Do gift from 9pm-12am

4 May (Tue)
Same thing, do gifts again, no time liao~ cry!
Do gift from 8pm-1am
Meanwhile Sms wif Jie, coz she next day got exam, wish her luck luck~

5 May (Wed)
Watch Ip Man2 with family. (730pm show)

Nice! Super tired, slp at 1030pm

Labour day~~~

2010-05-01T00:59:00.003+08:00

Today busy~

Morning go 四马路wif parents pray pray... (Long time nv go le, btw, Guan yin is my godmum).

Last time before i was born, mum went to fortune teller, den tat person say, 1st child mus not belong all to them, mus "kai" to either god or ppl. tats the reason y Guan yin is my godmum.

I got 2 godmum~ the other one is my mummy's sister

After tat go OG shop, bought a bag $30.
then go 3rd uncle western stall @ bukit batok eat lunch.
Then go home (3pm)

nothing to do, dun feel like surfing net, so i go tidy my rm til 6pm.

Then go out again with parents~

Go amk central buy screen protector for my samsung jet, pay bills den go yishun buy dinner.

Problem 1: Pay bill, when i was preparing things, i realise my ATM gone! (>.<)
i also duno when lost de.. sian, find everywhere also cannot find!
in the end i transfer all my $$ to mum's a/c in case kana used by ppl

Problem 2: buy dinner waited for almost 45mins -_-" hot die me queue super LONG (>.<)

Problem 3: went to withdrawn $$ frm posb to ocbc, waited SUPER LONG!
infront gt 4-5 ppl. Got 2 fatty ladies stand there yan jiu how to use the machine. Pek chek sia, no aircon (>.<)

Reach hm 830pm

What a day ~_~

Shop at lunch @bugis

2010-04-30T00:59:00.002+08:00

Lunchy time~! Shifu say she wan go bugis, ask me wan go mah... haha, i agree!

coz my work all finish le.. keke yeappy! walk walk ! walk walk!
Go out before 1pm with shifu to bugis~!
we took bus there, shifu wan to buy kose lotion @ bhg. Queue 10-15mins for payment... Many ppl were shopping sia, surprisingly, keke

shifu kip ask me buy buy buy, the duno wat mask. i say i lazy n ugly, no need wor. hahahaha
After tat we went to Parco side to redeem her capital voucher. Again queue at least 15-20mins.
Argh~ so long dee, while waiting, i go take Singapore map n attractions of Singapore.

Hahaha, i told shifu, i got 10days leave, mayb i can take these leaves go tour Singapore once.lol

After redeem le, go buy mac pack back office... i treat shifu eat, haha, she super happy... Coz i take bonus le ma, then everytime she treat me, now is my turn to treat her back
kekeke~ she kip yeah yeah~! My sot shifu =x

Reach back office arn 3plus. LOLs
coz we missed our bus @ bugis, den waited very long. hahahahaa~~!!!
No boss day, nvm also =x
Go back i faster eat den do my work
which is...... Tearing paper!!!
Hahahaha, wat a nice friday

Slack whole day? keke
i tear the whole mountain of paper till my hand suan
Seriously is at lease 30cm tall (piles of documents)
I dun wan go shredding machine there, i scare the machine burnt diao~-_-~

Like tat lo. my friday~ jes say i super slack =x

today exchange arn 3emails wif erjie only, abit sad

she seems super busy, i also dun dare disturb her.

After work also, we nv contact le :( wan sms her but scare she busy, so nv fan her

After work she got other ppl n things which need to occupy her time, dun disturb her better ba?

Jie happy, Mei also will be happy

Friday Friday~~ hand pain pain
ZzzZzzz time................

Nitey~1259am

Bonus

2010-04-28T22:12:00.003+08:00

I got letter saying~ i got bonus n increment
Bonus of 1.5
Increase by 3%

Upon receiving this letter, i super happy...
Boss arn knock off time then gif us...
Immediately i sms dajie, erjie, xiao mei tell them this news.
Only erjie n xiao mei reply me...
maybe dajie busy bah :(

Receive this bonus n increase is really a "bonus" for me.
coz i intend to quit long ago.. im very happy coz after working since 18 till now,
is the first time i get 1.5 mth bonus.
Before i come into this co. i was working as part time in sales so no bonus de...
Look at ppl arn me (my colleagues, finance colleagues) all looks quite disappointed.
i think thy pin high hopes ba, tats y disappointed at the figure.
To me, having is a blessing le...
dun haf to everything ask for more more more...

Thy all say xiao mei (me) is really high n happy wor... Then thy ask me y i so happy. i ask them, y u all so sad.
Today company nv gif u all, no wrong also wor. now co. gif me, we shud be appreciate instead of showing :( face ba...

Haha~ actually the main reason i happy is, i intend to quit but i worried the mth i tender gt bonus, den wasted liao. Lucky tat time i hold back, nv tender my resignation letter. If not today de me is the most sad ba, keke

That's life
Always seems to be playing with us, me especially
After encountering so many things, at work, or personal especially, makes me really "open my brain n eye n mind"

Give & take

Live & let live

Forget & forget

Remember those who loves u

forget those who don't

Treat everyone with an open heart
Treat your loved ones with all your heart

Cherish those ppl arn me while they are still around
Got things i will choose to say it now, coz i don't know what will happen next
I don't wan to live my life with any regrets

Love is a promise

Expect no returns

Willing to change

Willing to accept

Willing to support

Willing to forgive

Willing to forget

Love RulezZz

C_H_E_R_I_S_H

pouring out to?

2010-04-27T22:12:00.003+08:00

Feel mood for the past few days, finally today~ had pour everything out...

What i wan to hear is not apology.. I dun need apology
What i need is action perhaps assurance or maybe the truth behind

We can't turn the clock back, only can look forward...
Which route to choose, only we can choose for ourselves...
We must take responsibility of our own actions...

Ppl's advice will always be advice...
Ppl's life we will never be able to affect/influeunce least bit if we are not impt

講了又不聼

聼了又不信

信了又不做

做了又做錯

錯了又不改

改了又不懂

What's the point of saying in the 1st place?

What is Trust

What is Promise

What is Principle

Answer: Unknown

Who are you

Who am i

What are we

Answer: Kin

omen~ bad? gd?

2010-04-26T22:12:00.012+08:00

This morning wake up, i feel a bad omen~ nt becos of monday blue... jus feeling something nt right. Ytd nite nv slp well, keep waking up in middle of nite.

1st incident: almost fall down the bus.
Was queuing to tap card alight from bus, den duno y my slipper like stuck at the steps. infront of me is a lady, lucky she walk fast, if not i will fall onto her. and lucky, i nv sprain my leg :(

2nd incident: Was doing filing, stapling of docs. As usual, take out staple, add docs, staple back.
When i was taking out the staple bullets, duno how i do, my right hand holding staple to take out the bullet, next min is, my left thumb kana poke deep by the staple bullet.
That feeling was like kana thunder strike feel.... next second~ bleed liao :(

3rd incident: Taking bus home. As usual, went to the upper deck... Was holding n slowly walk to the back. Suddenly uncle jam turn left n break hard... i almost fall down, almost hit a sitting passenger :(

Swee sia~ keke i'm still surviving!
Safe n sound reach home le...

Today's Meals: Only Lunch (cai fan~1 meat, 1 vegi $2.20)

Today's feeling~:
I feel im too naive. Keep thinking n worrying, but actually my worries n thinks, is extra.i get this conclusion from- feedback n reaction frm ppl.
Not sensitive... but somethings is doesn't appear obvious as wat it really means. But it really meants.

I feel i'm not auto n sensitive enuff to realise n accept earlier.
Hope i wun be too late now to realise n start to "pei he" the players in the game.

Many things don't need to really say out, actions already shown...

I believe everything happen for a reason. Everything changes for a reason.

Accept and you are still in this game.

Reject and you are out of this game.

This world is just like a game.

Accept or Reject~ Decision lies with us

AwAy~

2010-04-25T13:00:00.002+08:00

To all my blog readers,

After this post, i won't be online for the time being, need to settle some stuff.
But i will be back soon, with more new updates~~!
Meanwhile hope you all take care n live each day to its fullest.
Stay happy !!!

Cheers,
J'2012

Lastly, share with you all one of my fav:

Pris 21st Bday~~~~

2010-04-24T23:59:00.001+08:00

Today went to Pris 21st bday party~~~!!!
Swee~Reach arn 7plus 8, left arn 11pm.
Pris is jes de poly fren, used to be my downline ^_^
Saw Ghimhunt & abraham (both also my downline), n many of jes de poly frenz.

Theyare all 1988 n 1989 de lor... wah piangz, all call me dajieeeeeeeee
Then pris still call me go take pic wif her keke ;shy ;shy~
she say wan take pic wif me neh~~~~~~~

Seeing them all again~ feel so happy.. thy are jus like my little brothers n sisters.
Last time in DW, we all used to fight tgt, play tgt. Nice memory
Pris now studying uni, gh in army (commando), so far so good^_^

I think the next time see them is Sept le... Jes 21st bday party...

~^_^~Wish them all the best~^_^~

Story of a girl~

2010-04-20T20:12:00.001+08:00

Story of a girl

On 20 July 1985, 3am, a baby girl was born...
At 1st look, many ppl tot it was a baby boy~but~~~~ was a girl

**Photo taken with Daddy n Mummy**

**Photos taken at home**

When this baby was young, she have alot of toys(gt bicycle,car, motor) n she loves to sit on that rocking chair~ One of her fav toy is a doll (^_^)

Why she is so fortunate, got so many toys huh?

From what she knows from mummy, everyone dotes on her, plus she is the only child at tat time in this family,n she is quite a quiet n chubby little girl...

Since young, her parents have been bringing her to many places like Sentosa, Zoo, Bird Park, Crocodile farm, Haw Par villa, Pasir Ris Park, Malaysia, etc..

Every Sunday is her family day, since young, she will always be looking forward to Sunday, coz she knows that rain or shine, daddy will bring the whole family out n spent time tgt.

She is so used to it that until now even though she has grown older, she will also try to save Sunday for her family ^_^

This girl has a habit or rather influence by parents... Capturing our memories down, especially young...

Coz kids won't have much memory before 5yrs old... Guess, this is the best way

In this post are only 5% of her photos....

**Some photos taken during outings with parents**

**Her cousins**

**kusu island**

**Malaysia-Kota Tinggi Waterfall**

Presenting some solo photos of this little girl~~~
Age: 4 n below

*taken at grandmother hse*

**cheeky her trying to make funny face**

**posing posing~hiao?**

*she looks so unwilling to take this photo (at studio)*

**Acting emo; in deep thoughts**

**Yes? What can i help u?**
~~look at her hand~~ small adult?

Ok~ That's all of this girl since the day she was born to age of 4... (to be continue...)

**Hint: this photo is the start of the next chapter of this girl's story**

Hold on and let go

2010-04-11T16:03:00.003+08:00

I "steal" this note from "someone"
I find it meaningful, especially the highlighted part.

When u think of ur past love
u may view it as a failure.
But when u find a new love,
u view e past as a teacher.
In e game of love,
it doesnt really matter who won or who lost.
What's important is u know when to hold on and when to let go
u know u really love someone when u want him or her to be happy
even if his or her happiness means that u are not part of it.

Kitty cup

2010-04-08T23:55:00.003+08:00

<--- Saw it? ErJie buy for me de (^v^)

Met ErJie today, after.... 2wks nv go out le...
I'm Very looking forward n very happy to go out with her today (^v^)
I looking forward to the next meet up... This will be a special n impt meet-up, hope ErJie can fork out time for me

Among all ppl arn me, only when i go out wif DaJie n ErJie, i feel i can really relax n laugh, coz both of them got the common humorous factor in them...

Going out with erjie today, my mood really become better... For the past weeks, my mood really go down-sloped... I duno how to exactly explain wat happen to me...

Anyway, today Erjie buy me sushi~ keke, initial plan is Pizza. But i insist sushi. coz i keep thinking sushi cheaper, to me, pizza is always ex de...

I think i 1yr den get to eat pizza once nia... In my memory for the past 3-5 years, i think i step into pizzahut not more than 5times ba... seriously lol, hard to believe rite... haha
More worst de is:
Subway: Not more than 3times in my life so far.
Jackplace: Once only in my life so far.

Ai~~~jus dun wish erjie spend so much, but, i shock dao when the sushi cost almost $20 lo... >=_=i intend less than $15 jiu hao le... Erjie buy me Honey~~ Ex also, $5+...

She keep wan buy me things, durian pancake, lollipop, sushi, bubble tea~~~ she really spend alot on me le :)

Other than family, she is the nxt person who always buy me things... Being dote by ppl, is really fortunate.

Wee wee!!! Everyday without fail, i will use kitty cup to drink my honey water~~ Muacks ErJie

Birthday

2010-03-31T04:30:00.000+08:00

Upcoming almost every month got ppl birthday...
Just wanna store my memory here.. in case i forget in future...

April- Shifu (4th)
May- ErJie (10th)
June- Dad (21th)
July- Ice Aunty (29th)
Sep- Mum (1st), Jes (22th), Dajie (30th)

slp early nite

2010-03-31T04:00:00.001+08:00

Hi baby~ im here to disturb u again... no one to tok to in the middle of nite(230am), only u le....

After 2 days leave plus long weekend, ytd im back to work again.. got 200 emails to clear. Clear plus finish shipments, arn late afternoon le. then whn got abit free time, do my other not so urgent things...

Mum called arn 5pm ask me need daddy fetch me home ma, i say anything lo. so daddy(who jus reach hm not long went out again to fetch me). daddy reach arn 530pm. den he called n tell me he downstairs liao...
But i tell him i not so soon can go off, he say ok.
Know y? initially whn mum called, i happily waiting to go off on the dot le, coz i dun intend to OT today de, not really feeling gd...
Then boss, 515pm, come my desk ask me for a report, she need data frm nov'09-jan'10.
i was like =.= i ask her, u need it urgent now? she say ya...

W/o saying another word, i jus do lo.. sigh~ at tat time I really feel sooooo down~, especially whn dad called me say he reached le.. haiz
in the end i left office arn 6. reach hm arn 645pm (coz of jam).
Although dad nv complain abit or say anything, but i can feel.
He so xinku, go hm put things, den noe i not feeling well, he straight come out fetch me, in the end he waited in car for so long... he also haven had his dinner... sobs~ crY~~
Baby i feel so bad...

Reach hm, i bath 1st den daddy. after tat we eat tgt.
1 small bowl of porridge also cannot really finish. maybe lunch time eat tat prawn noodle stil ful bah... Den pei mum n dad watch tv.
watch till my eyes wan close. arn 8plus i feel so tired suddnely, slp on sofa while watching tv wif them. den i take hp go rm, send msg to dajie n erjie.
Tell erjie wan an. Ask dajie abt insurance thing. (next time whn i die, my insurance money will auto gif my parents de mah) coz last time i buy tis life policy frm dajie de, jus wan confirm.
While waiting for their reply, i doze off again holding hp, not long after, erjie reply me le, den i put hp to silent n go back slp.
Dun wan wait for dajie coz she mostly wun reply me so soon, sometimes she working.

2plus am wake up see hp, dajie reply me arn 9pm. lol... but i dun dare reply back, later disturb dao her, haha....
Wake up, feel abit energetic, nth to do, den come here tok to u le...

Actually i keep thinking of something, something which i can't forget, keep in my mind. haiz... how to get rid of this "thing" in my mind.
I dun wan to keep thinking of this. no matter wat i do, where i go, i always think of tis.
It really affecct my mood n life alot...
Here i think, there nothing happen, no one knows, only i myself know, i xinku only...
if i'm down, my family suffer the most.

like ytd, i suddenly feel tired, den on air-con slp, mum say tis weather also wan on air-con ma?
my reply to her was abit pissed, den i go rm close door, off light slp.
really sian, y ytd i so attitude to her... y i do tis... i really sian

sian of tis thing, tat affect me so much... tiring also... keep repeating again n again, ask again n again makes me really sian...
i rmb recently duno coz of wat, i ask too much or wat, den jes say me. den i tell mum, u all better pray, one day i become mute ok? den no one will fan u all le, no one will kaypoh abt u all de things anymore le.
sometimes hao xin concern, in the end get back de reply is like so "shit or bochap"
i also human, got feelings de... u think i like to concern so much ask so much ma? u think i really wan fan abt u all de things ma? i also put aside my own de things, priortise u all 1st, but how u treat me? sigh~

now listening to bad romance, remind me of audi.
suddenly feel sad... everything whn im on street, den listen dao audi de songs, i feel so sad...
haiz~ y everything turn out to be like tis today... y everything changes... y y y...
i miss those days... those days i played wif ..... happily chatting, spinning, playing, go in n out waredrobe,hop frm channels to channels, create rm after rm, n saying our fav line(i sense something coming~)
All these are being stored in my brain de fond memories folder, i dun think in my life again, i will be able to encounter tis anymore~~~ (~_~.)

Aunty say my blog can publish a book liao, all so long story... i told her ya, my life journey can publish book liao, can be as thick as dictionary.

I'm not those type who can forget the past easily. tats y i mus always upgrade my memory.. haha, memories start frm kindergarden to now. good n bad also got.
B:/ drive is to store bad memories
F:/ drive is to store fond memories
Tats y baby, u are my external hard-disk, help me store some here, while im doing defragment for B n F drive... (^v^) Love u

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~不要等到失去后才珍惜~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Leave

2010-03-29T22:30:00.002+08:00

woooowwwwwww......
wake up 8 plus today, today on leave at home...
Afternoon time online check emails, den saw aunty in msn, she on mc today.
Lol, den we played viwawa.. super long nv play liao, i also din notice i got 2 a/c there.

I think arn 3 plus played till arn 5plus, den i super hungry, log off le go eat dinner...
Raining le~ but still feel very humid...
5plus msg jiejie, ask her go back early, but din reply.
6plus msg again, also din reply.
Hmmm... den 7 call her, got ans. saying she still in office...
den waited, 9pm msg again, she say she leaving le.
Lols, i feel i so kaypo sometimes, hahaha, duno y i like scare tis jie duno -poof- till where liao, no news n reply de... Worried at the same time scared disturb dao her :(
i noe, she super busy wif her work de... I aSked her whn go out, she can't confirmed.
Although i very looking forward mit her since last mth till pay day till now, hmmm, but... i noe she tired n busy n sick n not enuff time for herself le...
sigh~ see how bah~ Don't wish to keep stress her also...
Suddenly i feel dajie's shadow in erjie's... hmmmmm, well...

Hope jiejie can take care of ur health, u just recover nia, plz dun let it come back again...

I believe not only her, many other ppl also. even for myself, past weeks, everyday i nv go off on dot. At least will stayed till earliest is 6plus. Latest got one time recently, i really stress dao n pissed off, till i off my hp, stayed in office alone till 9pm, security still comes in and ask me wat time i gg off =_= tat nite, i reach home at 10pm.
All alone~ no hp, no fren, no one, only strangers, passerby... Nv on hp, so can't keep track of the time also...
I feel bad, coz next day morning wake up, whn i on hp, 2 ppl were worried for me...
Hereby apologise to Jie n aunty. hope thy forgive ya...
I think i wun do tis again le, in case u all worry for me...

Today sms sl ask her everything ok? Afternoon i sms her, she 8plus reply me. den say her things not ok, she also haven help me key in things, she feel ps.
Sigh~ y mus feel ps sia, i more ps, sometimes i take leave i so worried, cannot really rest my mind, coz ppl nd to cover my work also, in the end, delayed dao ppl de work also.
Den i tell her nvm sia, aiyo, i go back can key in myself de wor...

I thinking, now on leave 1 or 2days only, hmmm, so shorthanded le... Wat if got one day, i can't be in office, need to take at least 1-2 week de leave how? Sigh~ i really dun dare to think so much. always there is unstopped de work pouring in... Focus on work 1st more impt.
I really worried, tmr go office, gt tonnes of docs waiting for me... haiz, i noe, no choice dee...
Just do it ! (nike slogan) Never say die! (energizer slogan)
hahahahaha ^_^ wee wee!!

Ps: i think i should really changed myself to adapt to others. Lower down my sensitivity, increase my optimistic, lower down my kaypohness, increase my self-reflection, lower my frankness, increase my love for others by actions not words, lower my assumptions, lower my belief n trust in my sixth sense.
Choose to believe n no doubt. Even if everyone tell me tat person is lying, i also must choose to believe. Believe the answer i get from this person.

**wink wink** Suddenly i feel i so sentimental sia ~~shy~~

Hard to make thing!

2010-03-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

Morning i 730am jiu wake up le, wan disturb jiejie de, but i scare she sick haven wake up yet... but 8am jiejie sms me :) keke, get to noe tat her fever has subside, good good ^_^

Whole afternoon doing something challenging sia, so far in my life, 1st time encounter tis, so difficult sia, do till my both thumbs n index finger swollen... argh~do until my tears wan shoot out, coz really pain... Nxt time whn free then i take pic post up here ^_^

Finish everything arn 10 i think, den super tired, go slp...

but can't slp sia, coz i thinking, tmr no work, nan de, den i on pc play fb, msn till 1plus...

I'm happy today... Very happy

Grow? Learnt? LOVE

2010-03-27T21:21:00.005+08:00

After encountered many many unexpected things, i hope i really had learnt, really grow up.
Grow up after every hurt.
Grow up after every disappointment.
Grow up after every setbacks.

Learn to grow up.
Learn to step back when there is conflicts.
Learn to control my temper.
Learn to lower down the level of my curiousity.
Learn to stand in ppl's shoes n think.
Learn to tell white lies?
Learn to be more humble.
Learn to accept.
Learn to bear every criticism.
Learn to give n dun expect any in return.

I'm trying to be optimistic. But i feel like i haven make it... im way too far
I'm lost? I've lost to the "weak" side of me.
I blame~ i blame myself~ i blame myself for doing things tat made ppl xinku coz of me~
I hate~ i hate myself for being so unreasonable in the past, always expect ppl to listen to me, do wat i said~
I regret~ i regret i'm like tat~ and results in today de me~ the changes i see in ppl, in me~
I'm feeling very miserable~ very xinku~~
I'm sad~ coz i done so many err things yet my family n jie still love me so much~
I sad~ i sad coz i dun hope .............
I feel hurt~ since young till now, i always the one, ppl tend to sacrifies for the sake of other party...
Fault doesn't lies wif them, is Me...
No matter is young, or now, i'm being treated the same...
Conclusion i can tell myself is: I'm not as impt as compare to them...
No matter how much i do, also no use bah... i guess

In Sec sch...I'm being thrown alone by classmates whn i'm in trouble, letting me face the problem myself...
Being shouted vulgar n pushed by ah lian at canteen coz i accidentally step on her feet.
When i turned arn, my frenz all -poof-
Then when everything settle, thy come back find me...
Are all these my real friends ma?

Work...I'm being sacrifies, boss ignore my sickness(high fever) for her sun marketing? i rmb she ask me eat panadol, go office rest, she can't come back coz she is buying ingredient for tonite's cook. Well, i listened n accept. Eat panadol le, continue to work for 12hrs(last time retail line).
Worth it ma? I really duno...

A Friend... Sacrifies our friendship coz her other fren dislike both of us contact tgt.

Ps: There are many more incidents also, bring up le also no use... I'm lucky i'm still "surviving" today.
My life journey, encounter is alot alot, as compared to those ppl at my age grp. i duno issit i suay? or past life retribution? i met dao de ppl, all treat me really "special".
Am i really tat "kelian" which mum always told me?
Am i a nice person? Or am i actually the Most fake person, coming here write blog, write abt how kelian i'm, how ppl bully me... How angel i'm... etc etc...

Am i really this type of so called hypocrite person? hahahaha... if not, y mus god let me meet all this ppl? let me "bang, arrow shoot, head bleed, whole body wounds"? let me encounter all this to make me grow up, learnt, see the "other side" of humans huh?

SigH~To the extend, many times i can only endure le, come back home cry in my bed wif my pillow covering my face... I can say tat i nv did anything bad to them, everything thy expect, i will do de.. but y m i getting all this?
I nv wanted to be the centre of attraction. Never at all... I also duno y, why some ppl tell me thy jealous of me, coz i'm always in gd relations wif the upper management or those "power" ppl or those influencing power very strong de ppl?

I think i really need to reflect myself on this... How to be a baddie in order not to be hurt again? hahahahaa =x

Trust...
I NEVER wan to trust ppl at all, due to my past yearsss encounters, i find tat ppl are really scary... scary till i dun dare to tell them my personal things at all.
Those hi-bye friends all say that i'm like a porcupine, cold-blooded, unfriendly person... Know me many years, but they duno my real character or rather the real me.

Seriously, I'm 25 this year.
Friends i got alot... True fren? or rather soul-mate?
Till this very moment of my life, i got 2.
I really trust this 2 person alot alot...
1 i known her for almost 2years plus(since oct'07)
other one coming to almost 1year(since april'09).
Why them? Feelings... I feel their heart towards me.. they care frm the bottom of their heart, they are frank n direct to me..
(Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ~Sicilian Proverb)

Everything i will tend to find them, share wif them, talk to them, ask for advice... I wan to know everything abt them de, jus like my family members...
In my frenz list, nv had one, i handmade things for them... But for both of them, i actually did it.
nv wanted to buy ready-made stuff only.
I wan them to have the one n only limited edition in this world.

Till now, i'm still in contact with both of them... but of coz, not as often as before le... Although is really sad to say so, but can understand, sisters ma, eventually will have our own life de to go de, can't be everyday stick tgt, same goes for dearest parents too...
I'm glad, both of them still will keep in contact with me. I hope is forever, even my next life i also hope to mit them again, and call them dajie n erjie again...

I used to scare... Scare coz of our drifting apart, our r/s will be faded...
But now, i understand, if our r/s can't stand this small apart, or other "new factor" tat comes in n affect us so easily till we break bond, den actually we are not fated to be JM.. Correct?

Firstly i scare of r/s between me n dajie. Drift apart, coz she married, we nv worked tgt, she seldom haf time for me. But Im really happy tat, sometimes i get greetings frm her, many times is me contacting her, till i so tired also. But her simple msg, really make my tireness goes off.
Last time she told me something (4ever in her life). this simple sentence really means alot to me.
Secondly is Erjie. Same thing, drift apart, although not as far as dajie, but same lo. But her 1 word also means alot to me. i nv had a big sis before. After i met Erjie, she gif me a feeling which now i really feel tat i got a big sis le, someone who really treat me as her mei.

Dajie nv really gif me the feeling she treat me as her sis, rather, she treat me as her very best fren/soulmate. That's wat she told her frenz when she intro me.

Erjie gif me the feeling she treat me like her mei. Coz tats how she everytime intro to her frenz. and she is like anyother jiejie doting on her meimei- buying mei de fav toy, fav sweets, bring her eat her fav ice cream, n places which her mei wish to go...
But one thing i feel guilt towards this jie is, this jiejie nv scold her mei before, even her mei did wrong things...

Both jie encounter same thing wif me. I will tend to quarral wif them in sms/msn. i also duno y...

perhaps i really prefer face to face talk bah...

Other than daddy, mummy, jes, both Jies are the next closed kin to me le...
No matter how far we are, no matter how sick i'm, where will i be...
Got anything, regards good news or bad news, they will be the 1st that i will informed.

When gg temple pray pray~ i also got pray for both of them de... Hope they will always be in good health, happiness...

Dajie all the while got weak health, maybe due to in her young times, she kip gg clubbing, now health not in really gd state de.

Erjie health shud be better ba, only recently hear her gt fever, guess is due to the bad weather n her workload n not enuff rest bah...

Both of them de happiness i guess i dun nd worry so much, so far so good bah... Im jus worried for their health nia...

Haha, suddenly i think now, my hp hanging 3 keychains. Frm my 3 sisters. then my hp display pic also put photos taken with 3 sisters.
Whenever my colleagues/frenz took my hp n see, they will ask me, who are they.
Automatic i will say, my dajie, erjie n xiao mei.
then thy will @_@ at me n ask me, huh, since whn u got so many sisters de?
I say long time ago la, den thy will say, issit? y diff face?
I say ar ber then! nt blood-related mah, y mus same face wor...
hahhaha, my reply makes them =-="

I love my Parents. I love my DaJie. I love my ErJie. I love my XiaoMei.

(^v^)I love them(^v^)

Pour out~vomit~

2010-03-22T21:20:00.003+08:00

7pm, leaving office wif a very slow pace...
saw my bus went off while i was waiting for traffic. Many ppl jaywalk as there is no car, left me, standing there...
Green man flash, i started walking slowly across the road...
Then surprise to see another of my bus came(normally interval is 10-15mins, today is early)
i ran all the way to chase it, lucky bus uncle wait for me... but... while going up the bus, i almost tripped n fall, hit my left leg de toes(very pain),lucky i hold my balance...sigh

1 stop before my alighting, i saw a bus conductor gg to alight, normally whn i was alone, i nv see passerby or another passenger face, i will jus stare blankly into the air...
Duno y, today i actually looked at the bus conductor, who is getting rdy to alight frm the front exit. All this while he is back facing me.
Continue i jus look outside the window, stare blankly at the sky.
When the bus driver open the door, this bus conductor actually come to d back exit n alight, suddenly i turn arn n see, is my ex-colleague. almost 3-4yrs nv see him le...(Last time due to some misunderstanding, we stop contacting. sigh~)
But was too late, as he alight very fast n the bus close the door, i din manage to call him...

Many images of past memories flashes back... I really missed those times back when i was working in DIY store, tis colleague really treat me very gd. After exchanging some smses,im relieved to noe tat he n his family is doing fine.
Misses his daughter alot, i rmb i have contribution in naming his new-born daughter.
He is jus like a big bro,tat time whn he noe his wife was expecting, he very happy, everyday come work, think of names for his baby. Den he asked me for opinion also. I told him, why not use rui as middle name? easier to write n sound sweet.
I name rui and his wife name qi behind. RuiQi(rachel).sweet name^_^
Today met him again, im really happy... happy to see that he is doing well.

Today in bus, i nv nap at all... whole journey back, my mind kip flashing many images. image of the past happy memories... memories of those times whn im in retail line wif tis bro, memories of those times whn im in m/m line wif dajie, memories of those times wif erjie...
My tears almost dropped when all these fond memories flashes...
I'm really missing~~

8pm, n i'm hm. daddy n mummy gg out to sintua. this whole week sintua is having big day, so mostly parents wun be at home at nite.
Alone~ i sit at the kitchen, listen to fm933. Mind being occupy by wat happen today, wat i told erjie today... I really duno wat to do...
I keep thinking, being frank n direct to my close ones, is it good or bad to them?
Sigh~ i sit n think til 930pm den go bath...

Feeling so unwell now, my head spins, my stomach feel really sick... After bath, sitting at the PC now trying to write blog, halfway thru, i run to basin to vomit.
Vomit nothin out but liquid...
10pm now, my head really spining now,hand not much strength, stomach feel so weird(i wan to eat,but now i drink one sip of water also wan vomit. i haven eat my med also, think shall skip for today, if not wasted).
I wan faster type finish.. in case i forget...

oh ya, tmr got stocktake at marina square...

ok, shall end here... cmi le~ gg to force vomit.

夏天_秋天 83_85

2010-03-21T17:35:00.002+08:00

第一次見面看你不太順眼
the first time I met you, you didn't meet my eyes
誰知道後來關係那麼密切
who knew that after our relationship would become so close
我們一個像夏天一個像秋天
we are like the summer, like the autumn
卻總能把冬天變成了春天
when we are together, we make winter like spring
妳拖我離開一場愛的風雪
you helped me by pulling me out of a cold love snow
我揹妳逃出一次夢的斷裂
I helped you escape from a bad dream
遇見一個人後生命全改變
when you meet someone, your whole life changes
原來不是戀愛才有的情節
this relationship is not only in love, but it's in friendship
如果不是你我不會相信
if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't believe
朋友比情人還死心塌地
a friend was better than a lover at loyalty
就算我忙戀愛　把你冷凍結冰
even when I'm busy with love and put you to the side
你也不會恨我　只是罵我幾句
you still don't hate me, you only nagged at me a little
如果不是你我不會確定
if it wasn't for you, I would be unsure that
朋友比情人更懂得傾聽
a friend would be more understanding than a lover
我的弦外之音　我的有口無心
even if I say nonsense, I never mean it
我離不開Darling　更離不開你
it would be hard to leave my darling, but it would be harder to leave you
你了解我所有得意的東西
you understand everything I brag about
才常潑我冷水怕我忘形
sometimes you would throw water at me, afraid that I would become overconfident
你知道我所有丟臉的事情
you know everything I'm ashamed of
卻為我的美好形象保密
but you keep it a secret and don't share it with everyone

MarinaS_and

2010-03-20T18:04:00.006+08:00

Today i receive a call... guess wat?
is frm marina sand.

I was super happy when that person told me he is calling frm marina sand, and ask if i haf apply a job. i say yes! i apply for retail position.
He ask me whether m i able to go for an interview on April 6,1030am.
Immediately i say, hold on ar, i check the date. and next i see is tue, weee!!! Yes, i can make it on that day.
then he ask me for my particular, and say will email me the details n things needed to bring along for interview...

Duno y, i was super super happy upon receiving tat call.
Sales sales sales~
if everything goes well, im being selected... OmG~!!! Im back!!!
Back to sales line again~~!!!! I really missed those times, when everyday, i can chat wif customer, promotes products to them, making new friends...
(I really really hope i can get tis job, wif my requested salary.)

Im super looking forward to tat interview day....
Even even in the end, im not being employed, i will be happy too...
becoz i noe, on tis day, i haf tried my best, even failed, i wun haf any regret.
Moreover, outside still haf many sales job available too~

Saying abt sales job, really make my mood shoot up~ Although 2yrs here in shipping industry, im not really happy at all, regards to job. Of coz, these 2yrs, i get along well wif all colleagues, maybe im the youngest, all of them quite look after me...

Thanks to shipping, i get to noe jie, aunty, jade, tomo, n many more...
Why? coz office hr work ma, got more free time to go online play...
Im really grateful n contented. I have many many things...
Im fortunate... No matter how busy i am in future, i wun let out r/s drift apart de.
I will do my best, promise...

If really really im being selected.... of coz i will be super delighted, but at the same time, sad.
Sad to leave my current colleagues... But got to move on de...
Anyway, now say so much also no use.... everything confirm de then decide bah...

Today, Me, I dun dare to think so much, expect so much, ask so much...
No matter is work/personal.

My 3 Sisters (update pic)

2010-03-14T00:51:00.007+08:00

Updated photos taken recently with my 3 dearest sisters

(^v^) Dajie n Me (^v^)

(^v^) ErJie n Me (^v^)

(^v^) XiaoMei n Me (^v^)

*********** SISTERS FOREVER*********

Meet Dajie~~~

2010-03-13T23:58:00.008+08:00

12 March (Friday)
2nd part

weee!!! after settling everything of the sales, i left office arn 730, gg to meet dajie n rachel n dajie de fren(joey) for dinner...
lol, we went to bugis for mala steamboat (dajie's fav). each person cost $18. very long nv go there le... so miss it~ dajie also say, very long nv go there tgt le, so nice...
(always been wanting to bring Erjie go de coz she nv try before, really hope can really bring her go eat 1 day ~SOON~)

We left the place arn 11pm. then proceed to boat quay. Dajie got a fren over there, so go find her. but can't seems to contact dao dajie de fren, den we jus go into any pub n settle down wif 1 bucket of heinken. chat, sing, drink... stay there arn 1hr, den we decide to hop, see if can mit dao dajie de fren anot, den we go to the 2nd pub (few shops away) n settle down again wif another 1 bucket of heinken. But our 2nd stop, rachel nv join us, she say she tired, wan go hm liao.. ( she seems so emo, sigh~ we keep entertain her, but she seems down~)

Left me, dajie n joey. Joey really funny lo, we keep laughing till stomach cramp.. at tis pub(shebang), the boss come tok to us. den he keep ask me for my number, ask me interested to work part time anot, pay not bad also, 13-14 per hr (7pm-3am). lol, i was abit tempted la, but i nv agree immediately. after thinking mostly wun go, dajie n family not really supportive towards tis job.. thy feel is NOT safe lor...

i thinking, i can only work fri n sat nia...
anw, tis boss very nice, tok to us, share wif us many things. den he say i still young, i say old liao wor, he ask me how old, i say 25, he say: oh~ still young mah... but... u dun look like u are 25, i tot u very young.
wakkakakakaka~~ weee!!! im a young baby~~~ young young~~
boss treat us 1 bottle heinken. i drink till a limit(3bottles) jiu stop liao, long time nv drink, cannot drink much liao...

den boss come over to me say got one guy behind us, wan noe me but he shy. den i turn arn, he say hi to me, den i say: oh hello~ im janice, u are? him: hello~ im mike
me: oh~ nice to meet u :)
him: me too~
funny part is, after intro finish, i turn back to dajie here, continue play wif her.
hahahahahaa~~ nice guy la... lols but i not interested =x

i go pub, not becos i wan to "fish" for new guys, i jus wan to chat wif my frenz, chill out lo... others not really interested, unless special case. hahahaa

left arn 3plus. i reach home is 4am liao... haha, dajie also... standard her, always let me take cab 1st, den ask me sms her whn reach hm...
i really miss Dajie alot... the last time met her is arn dec? seems very very long nv see her... ytd see her, i super happy^_^
but she become thin le... coz of her work, stress bah...
Glad to noe tat she changing job le, better, normal working hrs... keke~~ gdgd

Before we bid goodbye, i go to her say:
Me:Dajie ar, can u do me a favour?
Dajie: yeah?
Me: can u take a picture wif me?
Dajie: can ar

Then i ask joey help us take. Si joey say me, si janice, jus now mai take, now wan go hm liao, den we all drink so much liao, den u wan take.
lol, den i say her, aiya~ shy la, faster help me take.
den dajie say, ya la, she miss me alot, faster help us take la.. hahaha!

Dajie Dajie Dajie~ lol... everytime i call her, n she ans me... i super happy~
Dajie call me janice de~ keke...
Jie Jie Jie~ haha, same as ErJie~ hahaha~~
but i seldom call dao ErJie, used to hear her call me mei instead ;shy (^v^)

Both Jie noe me so well~~~ love them

After tonite, i also duno whn can mit out again... i hope really soon lo, i dun wan interval so many mths den mit again :(

There it is, taken outside pub before going hm:

Warehse sales~

2010-03-13T21:28:00.010+08:00

12 March (Friday)
1st part

Last day of warehouse sales~ wee!!
let me summaries this week de program:
Mon: prepare for warehse sales...
Tue: stocktake ION
Wed: shipments + prepare warehse sales
Thur: warehouse sales
Fri: warehouses sales + mit dajie

This few days go home really late... earliest reach home is 8plus, latest is 4am.

Today in office really busy, many ppl walk in n out, gt sales, den all inside warehse... i also busy, run here run there, run up run down...

Busy wif work, busy wif sales, busy wif many many... sigh~ sometimes busy until i feel abit tired... Although time pass very fast, but my body n mind cannot keep up well neh~

Today made payment for the clothes. In total i spend arn $130.

Buy for Dad, jes, alvin, erjie n her bros. keke~~ i tell jiejie abt tis, she very happy, coz she got new clothes liao... haha, her bros also got liao~ hahaha (opps, i happy not becoz thy haf new clothes to wear, is that tis pig say 1st time gal buy clothes for her) wakkakaka, shy die me~
mei mei buy clothes for jiejie~ Wee!!

Monday, daddy coming fetch me, coz the clothes quite heavy, think arn 8-9pm bah... i can stay in office finish my work also...
Coz wed meeting jiejie (happy!!), i wan make it in time pass her.. haha, she seems so excited abt the clothes neh~

Tue got stocktake again at Ngee ann city, so cannot bring back.
Lolx, die die left monday nia, i thinking if dad nv come fetch me, i also will stay till 8pm den take cab home.. wee!! i very happy n looking forward to wed

Stocktake day MD LT

2010-03-09T23:50:00.003+08:00

Stocktake today MD LT
left office 1230pm, ended 1st part of scanning at 530pm.
NExt session started at 930pm(nd to wait for store to close).
4hrs went walk arn wif boss n finance colleagues..
we went lucky plaza, i ate porridge..
After tat went to swensen.. coz no where to shop liao, they say find a place to slack there~
den thy suggest go swensen.. i was like @_@ lol, swensen AGAIN~ wee!!

Share the waffles n ice cream wif boss, coz too full liao~ boss ask me choose semo flavour. ;shy
standard: sticky chewy n mint!!! wakakaka, boss say: mint is nice lei~ taste like the one at my hse there, gt one uncle ride bike come sell de~
i hear liao i was like =_=" orh...

I keep being lame~
Boss say wah, she slpy. den i say, wah sey, ur "zzz" finding u liao wor~ can see got some at ur head there liao~
den boss say ya lor~ "zee zee~"(aka zzz) finding me sia, so tired...
After boss finish, one of my finance colleague, she was walking beside us, suddenly go bang into a Queue pole, almost trip. den me n boss kip laugh, den i say : WaH~~~~ "zzz" go n find her liao wor~ wakakkakakaa~~~
Den boss ask me walk between the 2 of them, den i say mai la~ later ur 2 de zzz come find me den i got 6 zzzzzz liao wor~~ how can neh~
**laughterssss** boss say she laugh til stomach cramp...
i noe i super lame -_-

Everything ends arn 11plus. consider early liao... lucky lor. well, still got 2 more stktake to go.
Reach home almost 12 bah~ shower, write blog till now... 1 am liao~ so tired, wan slp le, tmr got shipment, thur n fri got sales.
omg~ not enuff rest wor~ but im happy~~~
Happy i got u~u~u~~~~~ muacks!
sometimes a simple greeting can makes one happy

I'm looking forward to Fri~(meet up wif dajie)
I'm looking forward to next week~(meet up wif erjie)
I'm looking forward to May~(erjie's birthday)

Love all,
XP, 1am

Wristlet, clothes, 4d

2010-03-08T23:28:00.003+08:00

I'm happy today.. duno y wor, maybe pig is back le~?

Step in office, faster do shipment, coz i noe afternoon nd to do taras sorting out for thur n fri warehse sales~
11am mum called n say i ytd tio 4D. lol-$40~~ very happy coz tis no. is pig n my no.
Since Nov till now, i strike 3times liao, tis pig really bring me luck huH~ coz i seldom tio 4D de..
1am went to a sales near my office, selling Gucci, long champ, Coach stuffs. Whn we reached there, surprise to see a very long Q lo... i intend to buy so asked sl pei me go see see. haha~ Queue till 230pm den manage to get in, coz thy slowly release ppl go in de.. Happy sia~ Weee!!!

After tat go to nearby place to buy lunch back.. maybe my hungriness over le bah~ so jus buy 2 bread n lime juice. go back office arn 3pm le... lol, boss nv show any sign of unhappiness, instead ask me show her wat i buy neh~ haha~!

Rest awhile le jiu nd go warehse do sorting liao... coz tmr PB store ppl coming back warehse do pricing n sorting. Then tmr 12pm need to leave office to stocktake at Liat Tower. Hmmm, i think no 11pm no nd go hm bah~

Today i do those sorting n choose clothes till 7plus, den called jie n mummy, dun wan let them worry :) Reach hm arn 9pm le... Not hungry liao~ lol, jus ate some siew mai n abit leftover de chicken cutlet...
Oh ya~ forget to post~ i lost one more kg recently... 1mth i think i have lost 3kgs in total liao~ wah~~~~~ =x

Im really happy today, i feel gd whn got ppl concern~ at least i noe im not being forgotten bah~ i so afraid of being left alone~ seriously, especially by someone close to me...
Im happy cos today i packed some clothes for dad, mum, sis, jie... buy wristlet... make whole dept laugh dao~lolx =x

I misses the past~
I misses laughter in office, laugh until close door also can hear =x
I misses lame me keep talking lame things to boss n colleagues n make them laugh until thy say cannot tahan me~
I misses the past r/s of me n pig~
I misses last time pig last min will say mit out, den buy me tis~ buy me tat to eat~
I misses those time we often meet out~
I misses gmail chat time~
I'm missing~~~ I'm hoping~~~ I'm wishing i can turn the clock back~~~

Misses

2 March.. the day

2010-03-08T00:43:00.004+08:00

2 March...
8am wake up go prepare 930 nd go out le, mit aunty n jie @11am. reach there at 1030am, walk along tat street cannot find tat jap restuarant neh~ den i saw aunty co. so i called her ask her, meanwhile waiting for her, i go in Guardian ask the sales ger. hahaha~ ;shy
Finally mit up wif them liao~ duno issit i no appetite or the la mian nt nice, i ate abit jiu nv eat le... i noe abit waste, but i really can't swallow...
Their lunch till 1230am.
After tat i went walk walk alone~(hmm, i seldom go shop alone de neh)

1st stop: Chinatown
On my way to the beads store, an old lady ask me where is MRT. I point to her the way. but she seems unsure. Then i tell her, aunty, u wan go hm le ar, i bring u to mrt k? Aunty: yaya, xie xie ni xiao jie Wee~ shy~~~

2nd stop: Causeway pt
Reach le, i went to the top floor then slowly shop down. wow, my pace was really slow lo.. so not used to it... not used to shopping alone, not used to walking so slow...
I'm a person super scare of lonely de neh~
i wan ppl tok to me. lol

3rd stop: Woodland library
4pm come in, need to slack there til 7pm. haha, almost wan fall asleep a few times, den i think outside raining, saw many ppl coming in bring umbrella de.
cham, i don't haf umbrella, but nvm, later can ask jie come fetch me.
now is 610pm, i'm still waiting...
wait for tat pig to call me whn she reached.
boring, wan serve net de, but i duno go where to apply... jus wait lor... tick~ tock~ tick~ tock~

Last stop: Seoul Garden
Finally my hp sound le!
wah, super happy, jie is reaching in 8mins time!
lol, finally my loneliness is over liao...
wakkkakakaa mit up le, den go pay library fine den go mit rainy at seoul~

Everything goes well, i dun feel kj at all tis time miting new fren(rainy), maybe got jie arn bah... den aunty joining us later due to her work.
Tis time i nv get to peel the prawn... coz jie peel for me ler~ at one pt, i noe i said something to jie which is quite sensitive, but i dun haf tat intention de...
suddenly i can feel something not right, den i quickly add on to make it sound better...

Everythng end arn 9plus 10 i think... nice mit up wif they all...

March 2... is the day...
the day to finalise my decision.
Decision to.... to accept or forget it...
For the past 1week plus, there is NOT a single day i nv think of this at all...
Everyday i was thinking thinking thinking~ think until my head pain, heart pain, moodless, everyday like a dead living person, soul seems to be gone like tat,
at tat time, my best buddy is my hp, i kip holding n bringing it anywhere i go,
although i noe no sms will come frm tis person during tis period, but i still hope gt, plus my hp got my moo moo also...
Seriously, tis is the 1st time in my life, i encounter tis... i duno why either...

2 March, i decided...

i wan tis 二姐...
Today i feel so timid... in my heart i already decided liao, but i dun dare call her...
i dun dare to really look at her while she talking...
omg sia, y m i so timid today, faint si wo...
until the pt, i feel so regret i nv call her whn we really parted,go home...
In train i take out hp, start writing, thinking how to tel her...
i think very long~ den she msg liao, the sentence tat made me kj n scare is "i respect ur decision."
omg, i was thinking, she thinking tat i dun treat her as jie liao issit?
crY~~ den i faster draft liao send out to her... den i think she nv reply. den i called her... but she nv ans...
wah kao~ i really pannick liao~ zzzzz~ feel so regret at tat moment...
i thinking, i gt whole day de chance to tel her, but i nv. den now i regret.

but heng~~~ she reply le... lol, she seems happy whn i tel her i stil wan tis jie.
haha! heng heng heng~~~~~~ finally relieve liao... im really happy abt tis, really happy....
i tel myself, next time gt anything i feel n wish to let her noe, i mus voice out. MUST!
i dun wan to have any regrets in life in future...

I really really love tis Jie. As much as i love my parents, my sis.
I dun care whether is blood-related or not, no matter what, she is stil my beloved Er Jie...
Equally impt to me... I noe i can't afford to lose them, i think i wun be able to accept the fact if 1 day, anyone of them leaves me... Family for life
Please don't leave cutie(me) alone... n dun ignore cutie(me)...

Loves~

Jie_Mei

2010-03-03T08:20:00.006+08:00

***A Forever Friend ***

Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

When you're down, and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full.

Your forever friend gets you through the hard times,
the sad times, and the confused times.
If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on.

Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,and forever has no end.

No matter what happens, will always cherish this forever friend.

(^v^) Jie_Mei for life ("v")

***XY_XP***

full stop...

2010-03-01T09:28:00.003+08:00

爱永远不会消失

我知道你慌,我知道你乱
我知道你没了主张,
我知道你用泪水洗着伤
不要哭不要哭
就算月亮星星忘了守护
不要苦不要苦
就算时间空间瞬间结束
爱是永远不会消失
从相同的地方开始
记忆变成一床被子能温暖心事
爱是永远不会停止
不过换个方式开始
拥抱过美丽的日子
感动会真实一辈子
我知道你怕我知道你盼
我知道你不想这样
我知道你求上天让世界倒转
你的心若遗失在昨天
捡回来把它还给明天
感动会真实
爱是永远不会停止
不过换个方式开始
拥抱过美丽的日子
感动一辈子

**Friendship is a strange thing....we find ourselves telling each
other the deepest details of our lives...things we don't even
share with our families who raised us...But what is a friend? A
confidant? A lover? A fellow email junkie? A shoulder to cry
on? an ear to listen? a heart to feel?...A friend is all these
things...and more. No matter where we met....I call you a friend. A
word so small...yet so large in feeling...a word filled with emotion. It
is true great things come in small packages.**

find bones in egg2

2010-02-27T01:34:00.004+08:00

26/Feb (Fri)
today kana say again. boss say: y docs haven upload? shud haf by now de right?
me: no ar, for meco shipments, normally spain upload fri nite or sat de ar..
Boss: can't be, go check wif spain ask them.
I jus kip quiet n do wat she requested... in the end, results expected. Spain reply me say usually upload is sat n we will send u advice once available!
zzzz. faint, my fault again. boss also gt receive d email but she nv say anything.

Today sl ask me. wat happen ar? y is she treating u like tat?
me: oh, u can see the diff ar
sl: ya lo, ytd also, y ar?
Me: i guess she not happy wif me for nt being the past me bah...(nv help her)

now my mindset is, i finish my work i got time den help her. last time de me is, i help her finish her things 1st, den i stay back do mine. i diff now, got wrong ma?
i do this she say nt urgent do others 1st.
I do tat she gt comment. i really duno wat she wan, so tired of all this.... seriously....
i kip quiet gt wrong, tok too much also gt wrong.
Or issit like wat aunty told me de, she take me for granted. I'm agree tat im not as entertaining, as cheerful, as concern as before le.... like tat i also gt wrong mah?

Have i really changed? Yes i think.... But y can't i changed? y can't ppl ask me or try to understand y i change? Changes takes time also... anyone noe y?

i think only i noe... i'm not angry, not tired wif anyone, except for myself. All is my bad.

Who dun like to laugh, who dun like to be optimistic, who dun like to live happily each day wif their frenz, colleagues, families?

I nv tell anyone details regards wat happen today except for sl. She is the witness of everything how boss treat me. After hearing wat i say, she pat my shoulder, ask me dun think so much, dun care abt her...
Lunch time i nv go wif my dept ppl. i went wif huiling n doreen.. huiling see me so quiet den ask me.... i nv say wat happen, i jus say, no matter wat, i will jus ren, kip quiet jiu hao...

Doreen see me, she pat my head(i almost wan cry le), ask me dun think so much.. huiling also say ya, dun mind this ppl so much...

Frm today sl come ask me wat happen, obviously proven tat boss kip finding fault in me. Not my fault she also will link to me :( im really really................

Today pei sl go take MRT (i take a long route hm) reach hm 8pm. No one at hm... me alone, taking out pen, scribbling my tots on my small notepad, listening to songs.
930 le, jes jus come hm, shall stop writing.....

*PS: I'm so looking forward to 2March, finally can gif pig bracelet le(2wks nv see her le). hope she will be happy n like it upon seeing tis bracelet. No matter wat happen, see u all 11am on 2March, promise... dun wry for me.... Love~*

Love~
XP, 2am

Find bones in egg

2010-02-27T01:15:00.003+08:00

25/Feb (Thur)
Early morning kana boss say. Sort of finding faults bah.. sigh~ y everytime i nv go make any mistake or wat, ppl willl always wan come find me trouble. I'm so sian. I so concern abt shipment, early morning reach office before 815am. Happily wanna faster settle the shipments things, in the end wat i get? i get back ppl "finding bones in egg" attitude towards me. Hv been doing the same thing since last time, now boss say no.
Haiz..; y ppl like to turn their words, like flipping roti-prata like tat, frm black to white, and frm white to black again. y can't thy say it n mean it.. y le... sigh~ nvm

is all my fault. their fault is my fault. my fault is my fault. everybody fault is my fault also... got to accept it i guess. I dun blame any1 at all, seriously. As long as thy happy jiu hao, other things doesn't matter..

Things are very simple actually. Jus tat humans like to make it complicated. Im one of this kind.

i have lost my laughter, my smile, can anyone help me find back?

mum say the past optimistic, cheerful me has gone.
Today doreen(finance coll) tell me: Janice ar, u seems very quiet nowadays, u got 心事?
Me: is it? haha
D: ya, diff frm lasat time, now u very quiet.
Me: hmm...
D: really got?
Me: hmmm... who dun haf wor, maybe mine takes some time to heal bah...

Sometimes i look back at my past photos, recall back the past me. i look into the mirror n realise, i really lost my smile. Where is it? I'm missing it.
Like the song: I'm missing u~~ wat shud i do~~~

i know other than my family. got 2 ppl worrying abt me. i hope i can let them be happy whn thy chat wif me, or whn thy are wif me. i wan them to see the past me, coz i noe both of them almost 1 yr. i think thy haven really seen how nice i'am in the past.
Nice meaning funny, cheerful, lame,open,optimistic... i dun like to lose. i dun wan them to wry for me, sad coz of me... dun wan lose them.
Especially tat pig, 1yr, not very long, not very short either. But seems like me n pig noe each other many yrs liao, we used to tok everything under the sun, everything we will tell each other, but now, no more le... :(
I hope we can go back to the past us... no more arguements, everyday is laughter, jokes, lame arn, as close as before or even closer bah....
Misses~

link link?

2010-02-27T01:05:00.004+08:00

24/Feb (Wed)
Incident: was slping in bus today, suddenly got ppl push my bag. i wake up see, gt a aunty sit beside me slping, then her hand unknowingly move! zzzzzzzzzz crY! y these 2 days kip got aunty come wake me up de :(

Shipment day, although busy, but i kip login n out of gmail, kiip refresh my outlook, look at blog chatbox there, see gt any emails or chat mah... Frm 8plus kip refresh till 10plus. lol
FInally i saw pig's name prompt out of my outlook, haha, pig send me a pig pic, so cute~
Issit really telepathy?
I wan chat wif her but i duno where to start. then i scare she ignore me(although i noe she wun), coz of my nitemare recently: i dream of her tat i go sms her, she ignore me totally:(
I was thinking maybe arn 10plus den email her. ask her rmb eat lunch.. lol, although i noe is a lame start. haha

today conversation wif her really make me feel gandong. No matter wats the end result, she will still treat me as her mei. even if i nv call her jie...
6more days.... I'm so looking forward....

Past days nv contact, i think we feel the same ba, seems to lack of something. I'm not used to it, gt things happen i wan share wif her, but i can only put in my heart.
Is my decision for this temp cool down period. I tot only i will feel tat, but she told me she also... Shud i be sad or happy....?

happy~

2010-02-27T00:51:00.002+08:00

23/Feb (Tue)
Incident: was slping in bus today(on the way to watch movie), suddenly got a aunty sit beside me sneeze very loud, i scare dao wake up sia... faint, i listen song also can hear n kana shock dao.. faint si wo... si aunty disturb my slp.

After work went movie wif family. True legend 7.25pm de watch till arn 9plus. Seems so long nv watch movie wif parent like tat, lol, so happy :)
After movie went kfc, also been quite a while nv eat outside tgt liao wor... wee!! happy happy. parents happy i'm happy.

Today duno y so happy.

After 4 days of nv contact wif pig, today finally gt chance email chat le. thanks to aunty. i'm so worried abt her during the past few days nv contact. Frm wat i noe, she is those type seldom open up to others abt ownself de problems de. i duno how many % she trust on me, but i hope is high bah... I learnt frm some1 tat recently pig is not her usual self, sigh~ i think more or less is relate to me huh.
Today pig told me abt telepathy. i find it quite true, tat we are quite link. Even though im not always wif her, especially tis few days apart, things we think are quite alike n link.
She ask me will there be chance she is my er jie still.? upon seeing tis, my heart suddenly feel ache. cos all these while, is me, stiring up problems n problems, arguements after arguements. not her. She always gif in to me, nv wan to argue wif me at all.
i replied her got.
All this while, i noe she nv gif up on this mei at all... **heartache**i so bad...
Aunty told me pig seems diff now le, more happy...
I'm happy coz pig is happy ^_^

cry cry?

2010-02-27T00:43:00.003+08:00

22/Feb (Mon)
Ytd toss n turn frm 1130-130am cannot slp...

Morning kana scare dao by a scary dream:- Jes use needle to poke into my skin den whn she took out the needle, attached to it were at least 2 staple bullets.. i was feeling very pain~
many parts of my hands n legs got alot of staple bullets pertruding out...scary -_-"

Went to blog tis morning, saw dear cry was crying... :( sayang le, hope cry don't sad le, i nv change or go away at all...
Today in office, suddenly think of something, den i took out my small pouch n see, the bracelet which i have done for her since past weeks. Then hor, i realise the whole bracelet abit slant diao sia... omg lo, i think put in my bag too long le, kana crash by other items in my bag bah... i nv take care of it...
Sigh~ i think i better do another 1 for her, i wan gif her a nice nice one...

Baby bear is sick~~~~

2010-02-27T00:35:00.002+08:00

21/Feb (Sun)
today whole day at hm. 1pm start do beads. learn frm book and done 1 new design which looks like flower. quite happy i learnt dao...
Parents strike lottery consolation prize few hundreds, quite happy for them :)

Do star halfway: 7pm go take my weight. wah, i lost 2kgs neh~
After tat i went to lie on bed awhile. wan hug my baby carebear den suddenly i realise... omG baby is sick!!!
THe neck there got a long thread dangling out.zzzz sad si wo... i faster go mend it, i also duno y n since whn got a thread de, coz past few days baby is sitting beside my pillow, i nv hug it to slp, but y got a thread wor :(

Well, after mending i go back continue do my star star, wanna finish 5 stars, for my blog de, baby was sitting beside me all the while...
Finish everything arn 1030pm, watching tv now... suddenly my gum bleed, duno y sia...
slp @1130pm.

Yun hse

2010-02-27T00:28:00.002+08:00

20/Feb (Sat)
Went to xiuyun hse bai nian (12-2pm). Yun keep ask me wan play poker mah, i kip reject, not really got the mood to play... So jus sit there eat, watch tv, chat wif them...
After tat go hougang mall shop till 3plus den go chinatown wif sis n alvin buy beads, walk walk...
Arn 6plus 7 go down 神壇, thy gt programs there. parents were there also. 二伯爺gif angbao.. we Stay till arn 9plus den go hm.
Reach hm, i drink heinken. buy so long le still haven drink dao...
den go bedrm watch Guess show halfway fall asleep. 12plus wake up again to off diao tv =_="

Sis pass lic

2010-02-27T00:23:00.002+08:00

19/Feb (Fri)
Today in office, not quite used to it.... sigh~
Got a gd news today, sis pass her driving lic le. Parents buying food to celebrate for her.
So after work go home eat dinner, den play mj wif mum, sis, alvin.(cos nxt day no work can sleep late). play till 11pm dad take over alvin, den we proceed to play until 130am. I win $10.
After tat cant slp, went to watch Ch U. Was showing Initial D. I think watch till 2plus 3am bah...

Stop contact???

2010-02-27T00:10:00.002+08:00

18/Feb (Thur)
Due to some reason... i told jie we stop contacting until 2 march... i dun think i say it in impulse. Even though at tat time is quite heartpain to tell her(im in bus at tat time), but i think the problem lies wif me... so i shud do something abt it... This time i dare not let my tears flow out, coz is my decision, i choose de... All my tears is flowing back inside this time rd... I nv tell anyone whn i reach hm straight... just keep quiet.

afternoon mum called me say tonite nd to go my godmum hse bai nian, coz she come back frm her holiday trip le. So after i reach hm, eat, bath, den go godmum hse. thy gif me $100 angbao.
on the way there, sis called say she saw a hello kitty tissue box cover, ask me wan buy mah, den i say orh ok, buy lo. is really nice, i keep it now, next time gt car, can put inside car le...

Reach hm arn 11plus. den go zzz... but duno y, i keep waking up in the middle of nite, many times...

2010 Cny~~~~

2010-02-26T23:56:00.003+08:00

14/Feb (Cny day 1)
wake up @830am. 10plus all dad's side relative come my hse bai nian. Noon time go 3rd uncle hse. I played blackjack win $10+. Arn 9pm go hm play mj wif cousin, sis, alvin from 10-2am. i win $9. Sleep @3am.

15/Feb (Cny day 2)
wake up @9am. Prepare to go 大伯hse(tampiness). Reach arn 11. After tat proceed to 5th uncle hse @Jurong. Stay there al the way. Aunt ask me help her be banker play blackjack, in the end win $50. Aunty gif me $20 saying is commission.;shy meanwhile dad was playing mj. We reach hm arn 12am. Sleep @130am

16/Feb (Cny day 3)
Morning went to 二姑hse. den 大姑keep gif me champagne ask me drink. no choice, i drink 1 cup, after awhile i was **blushing~~** lol
Arn noon time go ah sim hse, same thing, thy all playing mj n blackjack, but i nv play... stayed until 11pm den go home, coz nxt day gt work.

This few days nv really got time to rest enuff, so busy neh~ run here run there, slp late, wake up early. but is good, once in a yr nan de can see all relatives... ^_^

哈咯~

2010-02-26T23:38:00.003+08:00

After letting my pc rest pc for 1 week, relieve tat it can still function well, nv lazy =x
Why i nv update for the past week? coz im lazy lo... lol
but i still gt write all my things inside my small notepad. since cny day 1 till now...
not really happening/interesting at all, jus some things to write down in case next time i lost memory, at least got channel for me to remind back...

Ok i wan start posting liao......

Love KittY

2010-02-18T19:52:00.003+08:00

Er Jie give me de, i always bring it with me......

1 day b4 CNY EVE

2010-02-12T22:33:00.006+08:00

Very happy today.. mit jie go chinatown.

jie gif me a hello kitty keychain again.. tis one looks more fat, is really cute, i hang it at one of my pouch. bring it wif me...

den went the beads shop buy beads, i spend total $88.
Every $30 spent can get one 1 item at half price. den in total the beads cost arn $72, so can get 2 half price items. Then we get 2 items, 1 is bear, 1 is pig. Gif jie. Can feel she seems to like it alot :)

Then jie bring me go eat seafood. lol, 1st time eat seafood wif her. haha, she say we reunion 1st. lol, true true, jie mei reunion ;lub hope every year before cny, we can eat tgt also.. tuan yuan fan

All the while is she kip talking, lol, i seldom tok, jus listen. i duno y le, in my heart im always very happy to go out wif jie de. especially whn she tel me she wan bring me go here, bring me go there, den always got gift for me. So many times, she gave me de things, is frm her daily life, she saw de things, den i think she see dao jiu will wan buy for me.

Put it simple: she really got mei in her heart. She is always looking out for me. the way she treats me is jus like how i treat my sis. Always there...

Although today go out wif her, kip see her sms-ing, i was feeling not very gd. but think back all those things she done for me, i jus kip quiet, nv ask her or say her. Treat it i nv see anything.
Coz if for me, whn i go out wif someone, i will try my best not to really contact other ppl/sms so much. unless im bored gg out wif tis person beside me, den i will divert to other ppl. Coz nan de go out, i dun wan to multi-task entertaining other ppl who is not arn...
Issit a form of respect? or wat? i duno~ maybe is i too jealous or petty le bah...
Afterall, I jus dun wan to coz of tis small matter argue again or haf anything to make our r/s sour. i dun wan interfer ppl freedom also. Anything tat will leads to make our r/s sour de things, i will block it frm happening ^_^ Cherish mah~

Jie kip gif me things. She saw in her daily life. For me hor, i really duno wat she like... I think jie loves all the things i gave her, especially those i handmade de. So i can only think of handmade things for her, coz other than tat, she loves bear, but she got alot at hm liao... Mights well do things for her, more meaningful bah. One n only de...

Jie loves those glittering things. Lucky last time whn i firstly wan to start up my own bussiness, im going into handmade beads stuff, fashion items like clothings, etc...

Whenever i learnt dao any new pattern, im really excited, very very happy.
First thing tat comes to my mind is, wow, i can do for people~
Most imptly is, I can gif daddy, gif mummy, gif sis, gif Jie le...
Secondly is of coz, for my business lo, got another things to sell le...

Now, right now de me.. im really happy, im really contented with wat i have.
I have my family, i got jie, i got frenz, i got nice colleagues, i got shifu who teach me those beads thingy... I have many ppl dotes on me so much, loving me so much... I have nothing more to ask for le.. Im really contented, really... and i dun wan to lose anyone of them...

Now is 12am. im going to stay up the night do the bracelets for mummy n jie.
Although for jie i can only get to meet n gif her nxt week or the week after nxt, but is ok, got gif jiu hao~ Hope i can make a nice nice one ^_^

Im not sure whether tmr i will be online to write blog mah.
Shall jus write my wish 1st.

Wishes:

Daddy, Mummy, Sis, DaJie(Regene), ErJie(XY), DaGe(Lincoln), Kor(Richie), working colleagues, friends

HEALTHY, WEALTHY, HAPPINESS

BE HAPPY ALWAYS-SMILE

STAY HEALTHY

Love you all

2 Days before CNY Eve

2010-02-11T23:07:00.003+08:00

WoW~~~~ as i was walking home today after work, suddenly i thinking.... wah, since last sat-wed, today is the 1st day i reach home whn the sky is still bright.
lol, i so busy neh~ keep gg out for the past days.
Sat-marina, chinatown (11pm)
sun-orchard, clark quay (9plus)
mon-J8, void deck(9plus)
tue-PS(9plus)
wed-amk central (8plus)
thur-nth (6plus)

wahhahahaha,
so looking forward to tmr... gg chinatown!!! WeeeWeEE !
will there be katong laksa to eat ma?? ;lub
will my dear jie vomit blood mah? ;mua
will the beads shops i wan to go open mah? ;luv

i really really wan to faster get those materials, so badly lor.... if really nv open i think i wil be very sad :(

Pray hard, everything will goes well tmr... keke, so happy ler!
Pray hard tmr shipments will be smooth also, if not im dead, sat forwarder work till noon only, i nv work, if shipping docs were not upload by tmr, den cham liao :S

Suling go back msia today liao, 24 den come back.
today boss tel me: Janice ar, frm tmr onwards, we 2 xiang yi wei ming.
lol, den i tell boss: ya lor, i think we everyday haf to lunch in liao. den hor,stress die me, i scare shipments cope up tmr.
den boss say: i duno ler, u settle urself, i got alot to settle also.
i was like ;diao, si boss.....

**cross finger n pray everything goes well tmr**

i wan go knoonz liao~ gd net~

2010-02-10T23:45:00.004+08:00

Simple day....
today left office arn 630pm bah. den went to amk central wif sis. buy earpiece n powder, pluck eyebrow.
den we pass by mac, i tel sis, i nv eat the curly fries before, duno here gt anot. in the end got! wee! but hor, not tat nice lo, so so nia, and cost me 3.15 sia :(

wah, sian sia... now my mind, kip thinking abt beads, work, beads, work....
whn i sit at my desk, i was thinking, by whn, can i really clear everything, i mean EVERYTHING.
although is not tat busy, very bored actually.

i dun wan to plan so long ahead. currently in mind i haf plan till june.
by june i gt many things need to do... got personal things, business thing, work thing.
dun wish to kip stagnant for so long. i think for the past 2yrs, i haf been stagnant, till i always say de, rot diao
now i see back, i think i really wasted my time.

ROAR, now i jus wan to do beads, gif ppl.
tats alll. the rest i dun wan to bother so much also... take 1 step at a time bah

Tired liao.. gg zzzz, gd net~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Time waits for no man~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kitty mouse pad

2010-02-09T23:02:00.004+08:00

today after work meet up wif qiwei. (my ex. colleague at DW). The last time we met up was July(dajie wedding). Den we went to eat long john. After tat walk arn, got 2 stores tat sell hello kitty stuff, wee!! wee!!

At one of the bigger kitty store, lvl 2, at the entrance, i saw one kitty cost arn $180. quite big de, den the eye super kawaii is like (n_n) hahahahah!! den got one smaller version de, cost arn $90.

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ex :(

then we proceed to another kitty store, i think on lvl 3. inside i saw something, which me n erjie saw before, den er jie got send me their pics de. omG lo!!!!

i kip thinking de things appear infront of me sia.... happily i go take up and see. omg, is really nice lor!! den i look arn, finding its partner, but sad, the sales ger say sold out liao. den i ask tis tis red one how much, she told me $30. den i say, i wan the pink also, can order mah, den she say, sorry no more le, quite limited, cannot order anymore liao. den i say ouhh~~ nvm...

She recommend me another pink color de kitty, i say, i dun wan, coz i wan tat pair..

Sigh~ nvm, slowly look arn, if not i go suntec there de arcade catch.

After shopping, went daiso n spotlight see things, i wan buy the stand for my beads accessories, but can't find it.

After tat jiu proceed to MRT le...

Then qiwei pass me a present. tis present hor, is my last yr birthday de, wah... frm last july till now feb. 7mths liao. LOL, my present rot in her hse for 7mths liao, finally today can meet out for dinner to pass me sia. Is a mouse pad wif a water cushion below, can place our wrist on it.. really cool...
1 more thing to my kitty collection ^_^

i think im really noob lor, whn im alone.. :(

today after work meet qiwei at dhoby ghaut mrt. den she reach 1st, she say she mit me at PS. den i say okok, i reach le call her. then hor, i took mrt frm tpy to dg. den hor, i duno is i toot or wat, i nv think got wat exit or wat, i jus go out frm the exit i saw lo, somewhere near the This Fashion de exit.

Then pro me, i come out of the control station liao, den i realise, er.... whhere is PS? omg lo, den i go look at the board, dun haf lo :( den i faster call sis, tel her, i lost liao... den she ask me at where, i say at this fashion de exit, den she say i go wrong side, shud go the north east line there de exit, gt direct up. i say, den i go inside again den go NEL there ar?

she say i sot. ask me go out, den cross the traffice light. den i go lo.

then i pro, i go out, i turn wrong direction, i turn left den saw park mall, den i see le so weird, i stone there awhile den see... den i realise, oHHHhhh, is on the right there, den many ppl crossing the road, so i follow them...

CrY, i so noob sia... i alone will lost diao... sigh~

if i go shopping alone, i sure take alot of time to reach hm. lolsss, cfm will lost. faint si wo.

Funny me~ but ppl arn me all know, if i call them, ask them for direction, they also wun feel surprise, cos im a noob at shopping route.... LOLsss shyyyy >.<"

tats all for today, 12am liao.. i wan knoonzz~ gd net~

Learn bracelets!

2010-02-08T22:31:00.002+08:00

Today at work so so ler, got standard thing, clear 100+ emails, record things, do 2 shipments.. nth much liao... abit sian... everyday same thing. Hope after new yr, everything will be diff bah~

After work mit up wif frances. initially she say can't mit, as she gt things on, but arn 3plus she called me ask me wan go out mah, i say ok lo. she say wan go J8 charles n keith buy voucher for her fren bday. then we jus mit there lo. Have a dinner liao, den come back amk.
Nth much to shop also.

She haf the habit of walking back hm frm interchange, which is arn 5bus stops sia. lol, whn she told me she wan walk back i O_O look at her. lol, she ask me take bus hm. but mai la, jus walk lo, treat it as a exercise after dinner.. shy.....

Reach my blk, sit downstairs, cos jes wan ask frances abt make up de skills.
i think we sit arn 1hr plus.. reach hm arn 945pm le bah.

Today i really happy. coz hor, i learnt something new today!!!!!
Today shifu teach me how to make a bracelet. haha!!! i so happy sia, can make for ppl liao, can make to sell liao, i learnt 1 new thing liao~~!!!
i will work hard, learn more frm shifu de... i wan to learn as much as i can, den i can make for ppl... seeing those ppl wear/use the thing i made, their happy expression made me feel so much satisfactory~!!!

SEmo sai

2010-02-08T01:48:00.004+08:00

now is 2am.
faint. i wrote those 3 posts since 11plus til now.
quite tired actually. but i wan faster post it 1st, in case i STM again.

continue to say, Reach hm at 10pm. den go bath n wash hair, den immediately i on PC. nv tot of gg audi de. i jus wan to post blog le, den jiu go slp. but i suddenly thinking, wah, will my audi cpl break wif me anot, tis 2 days i online audi nv see him also. lol. i siao liao, den i hand itchy go login audi, leaving my blog webby open.
i thinking login see gt the split request anot, jiu log out. but i kaypo, go see who online
then i saw jie, jade, tomo, aunty.
wahhh suddenly so happy, thy all playing in the rm tgt neh~ den i go inside lor.
den i saw jie caption is new start. initially i tot, wah she married liao ar? but whn i go inside the rm, she told me mit her cpl. dazed huh. i stun tio.

i was thinking, where is tat LS. den my stupid brain kip thinking those kns thing, den start to so called quarral wif jie liao. i was thinking, y in the 1st place, we quarral coz of LS, she can becos of ls break her promise towards me, den now, she can break off wif ls den cpl another guy so easily..den last time quarral de things, break promise de things, hurt dao me de things, all jiu suan liao mah?
den she say me, y i hold grudges? last time i do those (invade her privacy) she also nv say me.
i really duno... i nv hold grudges towards her... i dun wan to quarral wif her especially regards audi de thing... well, i htink other than audi de things, we nv quarral before also.
today we did it again. she jus tel me wan scold her jiu scold, she wun say anything. hais... i dun even intend to scold her, n who m i haf the right to scold her also... im jus her mei, even her parents dun say her, y shud i?

Sigh~~~~~~~~~~
At tat pt jus now, i jus thinking, someone i really trusted alot alot, break promise to me in rl... Im really hurt n it really affect our r/s. She told me even if we quarral, our rl also wun change, wil be the same. den i ask her, same mah? she say ya. den she ask me i dun? i reply her no....

Sad rite? im bad rite? i also think so. but tats wat i feel. She can let the past goes, the incident which i dis-respect her privacy thing. But i seems to be so petty, kip say her abt break promise de things...
although it has affect me, but i also duno y, i still treat her as gd as before. although sometimes i selfish or petty, say mai care abt her liao, but i can't. Say nia, i can't do it.
Coz all tis while, whn im alone, she is always here to pei me. whn she noe i like tis, like eat tis, wan go where, she will try to accomodate n fulfil. Among all frenz i haf over all tis yrs, she is one tat really treat me very gd.

Im always so cong dong.. shoot things out without thinking. is my fault again. i think i can't change de bah.. ppl arn me say until wan vomit blood liao, i also same old pattern. i tot my heart can be wider de. i tried n tried, but y the results doesn't change much de....

She kip forgive n forget, im so guilty............
So sorry. i really disturbed dao jie de life liao~~
She always treat me so gd, even jus now i say her, she also nv blame me, n stil ask me go slp in a concern manner. crY~!!!!
Er JIe is always so nice to me....
Er Jie kip buy me gift, bring me go eat, bring me go places i wan to go, treat me so gd.
but i so bad~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kip bully her...

I really dun like audition. Always hai me quarral wif jie. i really hate it
But i noe jie thru audi de.... cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Other den erjie, no more ppl whom i can tell my things liao. Dajie put me aeroplane today... sad si wo, n i haf given up liao, she always seems so busy, 2yrs of holding on, im really really tired. is jus like a 1-way traffic... :( y am i always the one holding, y m i alway feel so xin ku. si dajie, she say after cny den mit, although now i say i mai care abt her liao, lol, maybe after cny u will see me post, i go date dajie out again. hahaha, i cheap rite? Faint.

Er jie is slightly better, but i feel we abit far as compared to the past le. i duno she gt realise anot, but i feel it. Like our everyday gt contact lifestyle, is lesser than before le... duno is i sensitive or wat, but jus feeling... im trying hard not to let go so easily. hope we can last very long bah.
For dajie i can hold 2yrs n im still holding, for erjie, i hope i can also...
I will try my best not to let go anyone of them.
Really can't bear lo...
I dun haf so many 25yrs to find another jie ;mua

Finish posting.. time now is 230am

Mit cong ge@ION

2010-02-08T01:34:00.002+08:00

Saturday 7/Feb
Mit cong ge 3pm at ion. it has been a while since we last met.
went to eat swensen. wah, i order the duno wat. spicy like hell. i eat until my nose fluid flow out i also duno. is jes told me de. LOL, really eat until numb diao, nose fluid flow out also no feeling. faint.

Den i see the ice cream buffet. den i think of jie again. i say wan treat her go de. she say after cny den go bah. i see gt alot of toppings sia. haha, ;shy... can eat die her liao =x each person arn $18+ without main dish, i think so. if wif main dish is arn.... $12 plus? doesn't matter also.

AFter eating we went arn all those so called branded stores. jes wan see wallet. walk very long sia. i think a few hrs bah. we gt go paragon, taka see also. in the end, finally settle down on GUCCI. lol. tat wallet cost almost $500. quite nice also, worth it bah, coz of the brand n material. can use very long liao. haha, i nv in my life had such ex de wallet or bag before. jes also.
Last time i saw the furla de bag, i wan buy de, but cost arn 1k+. i think is 1yr liao. i wanted to save, but whn i save dao le, the model gone liao. ;sob
everytime whn i save dao le, the thing is gone. sigh~

After tat, we go mac sit awhile, den i wan order the curly fries de, but the person say not available liao. sadddddddddddddddddd.... i nv eat dao :( really dun haf le mah? i duno~~ ;sob
then cong ge say bring us go clarke quay there eat a ramen.
gt 2 outlets, one at central, one at liang court. den we go eat at central de.

WoW!!! really nice sia... although is spicy, but hor, not as spicy as the one i ate at swensen. lol... is really nice lo, the char siew, the meat all tat. shiok. is a jap restuarant. not ex also. we 3 go eat arn $52. really nice trying.
den i also duno y, if gt nice thing, i will think of erjie den wan bring er jie go eat. lol.
i jus love to share wif her nice things, hope nxt time can bring her go try. maybe she loves it also.

Reach hm arn 10pm.

fri on leave aunty hse

2010-02-08T01:26:00.002+08:00

After posting tat super long outing de. i suddenly rmb, wat i done on fri.
Fri i on leave, mit up wif aunty at amk hub. jes also wif me. den we go eat the roti prata at amk hub n the anderson ice cream.
keke, is really nice. nxt time gt chance can bring jie go eat the roti prata at amk hub. coz i rmb last time i say wan bring her go thomson there eat the prata... :)

After tat we proceed to aunty hse. keke, jes wan play wif rayden. keke, he super super cute. whn i go in, he kip come to me, bring toy to me, tok to me. haha, den jes say, jie ar, he noes u lei. i say ya lor. last time i came i kip play wif him mah, tats y he noes me. ;shy

after tat i help aunty fix the audi to window mode, dn i play audi. lol, abit ps lo. nv play wif rayden, den he kip come to me, coz he not familiar wif jes initially. but after awhile he n jes was quite close liao, den he mai come find me le. ahhahaha, cute rayden.
Left aunty hse arn 7plus bah... den i reach hm arn 8plus. haha..

really happy n thanks aunty. the mango milkshake tat her maid made is really nice!!!
Hope she like the chocolates, is for tricia n rayden de. keke, nxt time gt time den go her hse play.

Outing~Fam

2010-02-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

Seriously i got STM. Thur n fri wat happen, i really forget liao. why i rmb wed happen de things coz i write it in my notebk tat time.

Now is midnite 1216am Monday. i can only recall wat happen ytd n today.
Let me tok abt ytd so called old fam outing ba.

Total gt 8ppl including me.
Inside i only noe n seen jie n kaze. the rest duno liao...
Mit 12plus at marina. i was really kj to mit new frenz actually de. i think my gut really gone diao, over tis 2yrs in admin industry.
Mit jie 1st den go walk arn at marina.

Meet up with them le! seeing them, i dun feel kj liao.. duno y~ all of them r nice ppl. funny also. i thnk among them, i tok to jie the most bah, follow by kaze. lol, the rest i duno wat to tok abt also. thy seems to noe each other very long liao...

Went to the duno wat Irish pub eat lunch? lol, i 1st time afternoon timing step inside a pub. is my first time sia. normally i go pub is nite? haha, thy really cute. den 1st time i go pub drink ice lemon tea? haha, really cute dee. my first time given to them liao ;shy
After eat, go arcade. meanwhile some of them play pool/billard.
After tat go eat swensen ice cream. LOL, think of it, i everytime go out wif jie, sure gt swensen de sia. faint, den sure gt my mint ice cream de sia. lol, faint.

Everything ends arn 6plus? den after tat jie kip say go where sia. i ask her think she say duno. i say go sentosa, go vivo she ask me for wat. ;wild
say liao she hiam tis hiam tat, nv say she jiu ask me go where. really tu xue. lol
in the end i say go chinatown see my kitty. ;shy
kaze bring us walk frm marina to chinatown. lol... think of it, everytime go out wif jie, sure nd to walk a longgggggggg way de. haha

FInally reach chinatown point le! wee, tat kaze really nice, pei us walk there.
Then we found the kitty shop, wee!! happy sia. den see gt wat special kitty things. i dun intend to buy anything de, coz kitty things is really ex. small keychain cost more than $10++. then jie saw a cow kitty, can make into hp keychain. den she ask me wan ma, i say ok lo...
i noe she wan find a keychain for me to hang on my hp. duno issit last time i told her, i dun anyhow hang things at my hp, except for dajie, her or jes de nia. the rest i dun hang at my hp. den i duno issit tat time gt hint her, i waiting for her to buy me one to hang. tats y she kip finding for me? i not sure la. but anyway, she buy me a kitty keychain. small n cutie~~ shy. i love it alot. now my hp got dajie n erjie gif me de keychain liao. 2 cows. haha. is always with me de, coz my hp seldom leave far frm me. ^_^ tats y i reply ppl sms fast. LOL shy

After tat, i find it stil early, coz is sat mah, i dun like go hm early also, go hm also nth to do. so drag jie go walk. den go buy beads. After tat i ask jie bring me go those parsa malam. cny everytime gt de.
Den hor, really faint sia. ALOT of ppl sia. faint. i c the ppl my heart pump very fast, coz i scare i lost.LOL, funny rite? but is true lor...
Actually i gt one weird thingy. if im in a mrt or bus or very crowded de area, i can't breath well. especially in MRT. coz whn everyone is standing so close tgt, i find it hard to breath properly. duno issit a sickness or wat :( tats y sometimes i prefer go the longer way.
Then whn i see those crowd, 1st thing i think is to grab her liao. haha, i really scare lost... coz wif dad, mum or sis, i auto will hold their hands whn in crowded area. lol, lucky jie noe my pattern liao if not i really kana squeeze til where liao. haha

after so many yrs, i think gt at least 4-5yrs, i nv been to chinatown de parsa malam liao (pre cny). im really happy er jie bring me go...
After "squeeze wif crowd", jie bring me go a hawker eat laksa! weee, i say so long de laksa, finally eat liao. keke... think of it, she funny la. say gt one katong laksa, den go search for some time liao, finally found it liao, BUT store close. LOL, see her expression -_-" i really wan laugh. haha, but xin ku her la, help me find the delicious katong laksa, although i nv get to eat it, but im really appreaciate. i ask her wat is tis hawker call, n she can tell me chinatown hawker?
really faint si wo. haha, she really lame~ =x

After eat we jiu slowly make our way back le. on the way back, i see those ba gua, wahhhh, all crowded de sia. so many ppl Q-ing to buy. but jie told me tis yr they nv buy, coz ex.
1kg $40plus huh. ex mah? i duno also, coz i seldom eat ba gua.

Finally reach hm le, i reach at arn 11pm. den i think jie reach arn 1130? she say her mum nag at her. i was guessing probably coz she go out whole day, den go hm late bah. n true lo, i ask her issit she go out late, she say ya, part of it lo. :(
really ps make er jie go hm late, coz i drag her go chinatown shop. i noe her mum also worried for her, coz she seldom go out whole day den reach hm late bah...

for me is diff, sometimes whn i reach hm late, i wun be surprise to see my family all go slp liao, only whn i open door den mum wake up nia. sometimes i feel i really nv think for jie bah. kip ask her go out til so late. she is always those homely person, seldom go out tat often, n late de bah.

For me, my parents gif up on me liao, lol, last time thy kip ask me dun go out late or watever, i nv care also. i jus tell them, i gg out wif frenz, wun be early, or duno wat time will reach hm. dun nd wait for me.
sometimes i will jus tel them i go drinking n clubbing wif frens, wun be hm early, earliest i think is 2am bah. lolsss... tat time i rmb, my drinking kakis hear me tell my mum so direct, thy shock also. i dun like to bluff mah, gt wat jiu say wat lo, if thy dun let me go, i also will go de. LOL, my parents really cannot tahan me... :(
thy say me until mai say liao... last time i reach hm at 3-4am(latest is 5am bah). although daddy will say abit, he will tel mummy to tell me, he nv tell me straight also. but he noe i wun care also.
i wan do de things i jiu wan. although last time i gt drink until puke like duno wat, gt incident where i tot i lost my wallet, make til my parents nd to help me wif it. thy also nv scold me at all.
Deep down, i noe their gd meant also.

Suddnely i rmb, i ask jie before. issit good or bad tat she met me?
she nv gif me a ans whn i ask her. she jus kip laugh. den i tel her i sad liao, coz if now she ask me mit her is good or bad, i will straight gt an definite ans. n my reply will be good.
in the end she tell me she nv regret knowing me. wah, i really gandong upon seeing tis.
den in my heart i was thinking. i also nv regret knowing her, but i regret quarraling with her :(

She is really a nice person overall. someone who dote on me alot. someone who gif in to me alot, someone who seldom voice out her unhappy towards me, someone who forgive n forget.
Seeing her, i kip thinking, am i really a petty person? m i really someone who hold grudges? m i someone who forgive but nv forget?
I think in many ppl's eye, yes, janice is tis type of person. thru conversation wif some ppl, i can feel which type of person in their eye. although thy wun say out, but can see. actually i dun deserve ppl kind treatment. coz i nv do well or enuff for other ppl also.
Although every relationships, i put in alot. colleagues, frenz, bgr.
ppl always remind me not to put in too much at a time, i can say ok, i wun. but i can't do it. Put in too much, if things goes wrong, the impact back will hurt alot alot...
I nv regret treating ppl gd, i nv regret trusting ppl so much, i nv regret knowing anyone, i nv regret doing anything for anyone...

I appreciate. Some ppl let me see their true colors, some ppl let me see their nice side, some their ugly side, some their innocent side, some their selfish side. i hurt ppl before, n i expect to get it back one day also. coz gt retribution de mah, i believe de.

No matter wat. i nv regret the things i do, since the 1st day, i make friends wif ppl. which is.... kindergarden? or start frm pri sch bah... i stil haf memory whn im in pri sch. Seriously, i really rmb, who treat me gd, who treat me bad, who left me alone, who pei me. all inside my mind....
every stage of my life, is clearly recorded inside my mind.
But im seriously not someone who will hold grudges. If i really do, in the initial stage, i will break off the bond le, but im really not tis type of person....trust me ;sob

Wed 3/feb

2010-02-07T23:40:00.002+08:00

Wed 3/Feb
Mit er jie go eat sushi.
Jie bought me:
2 鮑貝. (nv tot she will buy for me, i tot she buy for her family de, cos she buy 5, n i always hear frm her tat her mum loves it. so i tot she buy so many can leave til cny. but surprise to see tat she gif me 2..)
Honey milk tea ( i seldom drink milk tea, coz i dislike the smell. but jie buy me the honey milk tea w/pearls. i go hm drink liao really love it alot. n the pearl is nice. jie say the KOI store is famous for its pearl. previous time i nv add pearl she kip laugh at me. n i drink n eat liao, is really nice.)
Honey (i nv drink honey + water before. 1st time having honey to add wif water myself. long time ago jie say wan buy for me but nv. now she bought it le. lol. i forget she told me is gd for face or throat sia. watever also, i noe is gd for health jiu hao.)

Jie kip buy things for me. really abit wasteful. now month start only, n she kip buy things for me, although she say is for my mum or family de, but i noe de... if not for me, she buy for my family for wat sia. hope she can dun spend more now, if not mth end, she no money, she dun wan go out wif me liao :(

Sorry

2010-02-01T01:49:00.001+08:00

Sorry Mummy, i made u drop tears today...

1st Carebear

2010-01-30T22:18:00.007+08:00

Wee!! today is a happy outing~!

Noon time, make my way to er jie hse- give her stingray n curry (mummy's speciality). Wan to surprise her, go her hse, pass to her. Have already planned to ask mummy help me cook le, coz erjie like stingray, den i find tat mum cook de stingray not bad, so jus plan lo.

As last sat is grandfather annvi. so postpone til today lo. I think duno mon or tue i tried to test er jie see whether she gt go out tis sat anot liao.. lol. i noe if i tel her i wan bring things let her eat, she sure mai de. Bobian gt to tell her i meeting frenz nearby wdls lo.

12pm go out, reach there arn 1plus. kip call her make sure she reach hm liao... abit ps, kip call her. Afterall ok lo, pass to her liao, i feel so happy. hope er jie n family likes the food bah.. (although the stingray tis time, very spicy.. -_-" mummy put too much chilli le!) BUt i still really grateful to mummy, for helping me cook. ;shy

After tat, tgt we go to cwp. Jie treat me eat mac, but hor, the twister fries out of stk sia. lol... 1st time i wan eat de things, out of stk. but nvm la, dun haf jiu dun haf ^_^

Then we shop arn.. then hor! tis er jie, bluff me. say she wan buy for herself, den kip tel me duno mum wil say her anot, hm so much bear liao stil buy bear.

whn she say wan buy tis bear, i was thinking to myself... she wan buy for me issit?

but then i kip hear her say duno mum will say her anot, which nicer ar. den i ps to ask her, issit for me. lol, if she say no den i ps liao~

on the other hand, i think she noe i like tis bear alot. i 1st time see care bear wif apple pic infront de lo. Since young, i gt watch carebear de cartoon, but i nv haf 1 carebear before. i think tis apple bear is the newer version of carebear bah, i also not sure...

Really happy coz tat smart heart bear is really for me de lor! haha~ yippee!

let me show u my baby S.H (Smart heart) bear... My 1st Carebear

Cutie :D :D :D

1st thing i do when reach hm is to show daddy n mummy my bear bear. Thy say nice!! keke

Then hor, one more funny thing i encounter at arcade...

Abit ps lo... faint... let the picture do the sayings bah~ ma lu sia.... si jie kip laugh at me ;wild

(See how many balls are stuck at the net there? crY!!! sad die me... i throw one den kana stuck, so i tot of throwing another one to make it go dwn, but kana stuck also.. faint sia... in the end.... zao~ pro me =_=")

LAstly, teach er jie do star star...

For a 1st time beginner, she consider above average ler.. nice jie ^_^

(Yellow-Er Jie, Blue-Me)

Have a enjoyable day today, thanks for the bear n those kitty stuffs.

Hope we can go out tgt more often.

Like wat u say, no matter wat happen, rl won't change de. I always believe Er Jie de..

2010-01-28T23:01:00.003+08:00

Wed 27 Jan
Went to watch Tooth fairy wif er jie @ amk hub..wow, is really a funny show sia...
We buy bubble tea, di gua inside. lol, shy~~~ i drink champage nia~
Is a nice show ~~!! ppl who haven watch can go watch ya ^_^

Thur 28 Jan
Har ChOooo~ middle of the nite kip sneezing, wake up also kip sneeze. until i reach officce, i think i sneeze n flu until my voicce changeeeee. "sexy voice" ;shy...
lol... den i feel feverish, cough, flu... wah, 1 morning i think i drank at least 2bottles of water.
Feel like dehydrating sia..

Den i think my mood comes again sia.. same old things happen. really ma de. lol, me again.

Oh ya, today morning i ate 1 pkt of vegetarian bee hoon. afternoon i feel very hungry, everytime i flu i feel very hungry. so i ate 1 pkt char kway tiao + papaya. ;shyy.. my coll also shock, i ate so much. den hor, after lunch i go find shifu.
I kip pestering her teach me do the heart shape keychain, coz i promise learn liao gif it to ppl de.. but after several days tries, shifu stil can't get it.... ;sobss.. den i tel shifu i go bugis there buy the sample we saw, den let her go yan jiu.. easier bah...
hmm i shall make my way to illuma one of this days.

den shifu say, she teach me learn other things 1st, so today hor, i learn how to make slipper!
keke, very cute.but dunoo issit becos i sick, i watch her do til i wan fall asleep. last time i wun de. maybe coz of my fever n flu bah~~ meanwhile i suddenly tot dao, oh dear, i forget tel erjie i brb, coz i see the time is like 230-245 le. die, den boss also gt come finance see me learn the things, den i very ps tel boss, wait ar. abit more jiu hao le... den boss laugh n go back to warehse. sobss

go back, i say the wrong things out again, make er jie mood. sigh~ not gu yi de. coz i think she waited very long, den i nv tink properly jiu say out the cannot say word, cry! wo bu shi gu yi de.
Den war start again lo... plus i nv gif in, nv think properly jiu say :( i noe too late oncce words is typed out. Same thing happen again n again. faint. i so pc... go toilet also dun wan look into the mirror, really ma de.
Same pattern, she after awhile as per usual lo, funny like nth happen. **guilty**

i OT til 650pm. den er jie call me, say if by 7 i nv go hm, sat jiu dun go out. i waS like huh!!
faint. den i kj, close all docs, den kip , off switch, close warehse shutter, den go finance rm put key, den faster get out of the building. all happens within 5mins. pro me... faint sia.

Coz i was thinking, wahhhhh tis sat er jie treat me mac fries!! lol, den maybe can eat mint icce cream! lol, duno y i feel so happy whn gt ppl say wan BRING me go. ;shyyyyyyyy, im a baby~
tats wat i think before i reach hm.

But hor, some things happen after i reach hm... no need say, my fault de. is a standard proccedure i think, for me... i really wan bang wall die... duno y
kip repeat n repeat. each time i think im getting more n more worst ... many things i jus shoot out w/o filter. tu xue.. i make her tu xue, wu nai, no comment, mood, everything la... say liao i also feel like slapping myself go die better.

i dun wan to promise or say anything now. cos i noe say no use. action is the most convincing result bah. best part for me now is.. i nv cry now sia, y? coz i nv feel sad abt myself, im feeling anggry abt myself. seriously, if i haf a fren like me, i sure slap tat person to duno where liao, n ask tis idiot fk off the sight off me.
Fortunate is... tis er jie, haven say tat to me.. i feel im now on the dangerous zone liao, which is anytime i will encounter tis? but 2nd tot, i think she... haiz, too kind...

Sian le, i gt many things wan say de... deep down inside, i gt many things wan share de... i gt many stories to tel de... i gt many things wan do de....
Can i still pour things to her? will she stil willing to listen?
Other than her is dajie, omg, tis dajie, i really no comment. lol
i sms her, 2 days she nv reply. den i sms again, finally she reply. but she ok, still bother to reply me. lol, my other fren say she sms or call her, she nv even reply.
Mus i feell phew~ abt tis? i kip laughing at myself. coz sometimes i really feel tired alone...

Maintaining is really hard. Making frenz, knowing frenz is really a very simple job. Most impt is maintain! omg, i think towards passing marks i still got some way to go neh~
Please gif me many chances, best is unlimited chances, gif me ample time to learn n change.
I think looking back the past n the now me, i really gt change, not alot, but abit.
I tried not to haf tat mentality, towards ppl who haf comments abt my character, (take it or leave it)
Last time de me yes, i always tell ppl tis. now no, i take wat ppl say abt me n i wan to change. but i nd help also.. im not god, not robot=Can key in formulae to program...

Interpersonal skills in virtual world, i think i really nd to improve on it. As for rl de me, im least worried abt it. so far, i think i still can handle n maintain r/s wif ppl well in rl speaks. shy ler, see my face so thick, i look back my post i also wan puke~

1140 le, now im feeling so hot, eat med le, temp is 36.9. ;shyyyy
Wan zzzz le.....
mus say ps & wan an to er jie :( coz whn i say to her, she offline. think she nv c bah.
Er jie mai angry or sian le.....
Can i stil haf fries n ice cream on sat mah? /?_?

Time prove?

2010-01-26T00:21:00.002+08:00

Let time prove things out...
i hope my wish can come true...
i wun force, n will jus secretly hoping...
Our life lies in our hand, to go which direction, is it thru the hard way, or thru the easy way? all depends on ownself.

My fav saying: is whether you wan to do it anot. is not whether u can do it anot.
I dun gif my life to fate totally. If we never even attempt to do the things or fight for the things we wan, wats the pt of standing here?
Are we really letting time slipping thru our finger tip w/o realising?

I really missed out alot, neglect alot since the day im devoted/obsessed on something, something, in the end, not really nv let me gain anything. Im contented that i haf gain friendship. I won't wan to be greedy, i got some precious frenz, n i shall not destroy it.
Sometimes self sacrifies is neccessary? is not only for the good for others, mostly i think i, ownself, benefit the most, n learnt the most.

No more forcing, no more quarral? i really hope so.. frm now onwards...
Right now, im writing tis post, wif a very light heart.. perhaps i haf really learnt to see far? perhaps i haf given up? perhaps other reasons?
I think wat i feel now, doesn't really matter.
What matter is the future...

Can i or can we prove the things we do is right? or rather can i prove tat i can really acheive wat i initially wanna to acheive? Personally i really hope so, n i'll nv gif up.
I won't wan to gif up on any of my r/s. Any of my dreams. None at all.
Thats wat i can promise now.. i wun raise white flag easily, i will do it only after i noe tat i haf given my very best n to no avail. I hope the day wun come.

I noe im very very stubborn, but at the same time, i believe my determination is quite strong also.

Lets work hard tgt, fight tgt, play tgt, enjoy tgt for the better us.
Hope i can be my friends de pillar of support always...

**Love~Cherish~Love~Cherish~Love~Cherish~Love~Cherish~Love~Cherish~Love~Cherish~**

Quotes Meaningful

2010-01-25T08:40:00.002+08:00

sleepless again

2010-01-25T01:37:00.002+08:00

Before i start writing, jus wan to remind ppl who reading it, i suppose tis blog, is my most rude(full of vulgar) post. if can't take it, plus click close window. ty

hihi, im slpless again...
slp arn 1145pm den wake up at 1am.
now is 145am. n im using my small netbk...
went fb, saw something.

I noe y i can't slp, coz of the same old reason. tiring topic, tiring problems. a problem settle, b comes again. non stop, n kaypoh de me, of coz wan to poke into it lo. haha, n the best part is! not my problem either, i duno y i so concern abt it.. really wtf me

Hmm.. suddenly im stuck, duno wat to write....
Curiousity kills a cat. lol, i think im the cat sia, but im not being kill by others, but by myself... some ppl say me is zi xun fan nao.

Sometime i do de things, in the end, result is not wat i wan to see, can be quite sad de. sometimes things i dun wish to hear, but jus so bu xiao xin, saw ppl toking abt it, i also sian, coz my curiosity engine start, is hard to turn off. Sometimes things which i dun wish to see it, but so lucky, let me see it.
Somethings whn i say out, i also scare ppl wil misunderstood me. coz the way i present to them, maybe tone is not tat appropriate.. if not,, maybe some ppl will think i dislike it, tats y i kip saying/bring it up again.
Seriously, me-janice, not those type of person, eat too full, nth to do, like to care abt ppl so much. frankly im really a very fuck up person... u die is ur problem, i dun really gif a damm... especially to those hi-bye ppl... im dao.. more dao den any other ppl arn me. Frenz used to call me cold-blood. which frankly, i truely agree.
i will only treat those very close to me de gd, the rest all i simply bo chap.

But sad to say tat, sometimes i really feel im not being appreciated by close ones. Which im really sad abt it. of coz sometimes i noe my over concern is turning to be controling ppl life, which i also admit is my fault... i duno how to show my care n concern in a well comfortable manner for both parties...

I feel really bad.. bad towards my family, towards my jie, towards those who love me, those who dotes on me.... bad abt wat? hmmm, how to elaborate ler.....

Family: coz of my personal interest, i haf really neglect them. i m so obsessed into it tat, whn parents go out, i also duno...
Today only me n mum at hm... arn 7, she happily tel me, eat tis for dinner ok? i say okie. den 730 she told me, charity show start le, wan watch mah?
But i nv.. wat m i doing? playing games lor... 9plus she off tv, say she tired, wan go take a nap 1st. Sigh~ i nv pei her watch, i nv pei her eat.. all i do is facing my PC.
In the end is, sis reach hm arn 10-11. eat wif mum. cry!

Jie: my personal interest, affect her alot also i guess. she is always the one kana my arrows, my unreasonable mood swing arrows. wtf me, really cmi sia... Seriously im not a gd mei in audi, in rl, am i a gd mei? im nt sure, but im doing my best to be one...
Again, i kip reminding myself, she really tolerate me alot liao, but i always find things to argue wif her, or make her mood goes bad... really cb, ma de..
semo count to 100 count to 10, i think i count to 1000 also no use. bloody shit me.
whn i wan to find out/say de things, eventually i will shoot out.
i think the counting part for me is to prolong the time for my suay mouth to shoot harsh words out nia ? 'argh.. im so angry wif myself....
Im really not a gd mei in audi.....

Frenz: frenz sms me, again, becoz of my personal interest, i hack care those sms.
i think i will only reply to dajie, erjie, aunty de sms bah... the rest maybe nd to wait till i finish playing or free den will reply?
got one fren, he stil nd to send me 2nd sms ask me since afternoon.. the other one maybe hrs later den i reply. one mayb nxt time whn i scan back my inbox den i saw le den will reply.
wakakkakakakaka. really fuck up liao la...

I really change. now i look back, wat i wrote, i also find myself a really cmi person. who is tis ugly person? seriously now whn i think back all my previous acts, those hurt dao ppl de, those neglect ppl de.. i dun even wan to look into the mirror... im rubbish huh...
y shud i deserve all these nice ppl by my side?

CrY~~~

signing off
J, 230am

Sun~ sun sun~

2010-01-24T17:08:00.002+08:00

wake up arn 10 plus today.
den feel very sian AGAIN... sian abt ...........,? sian sian sian
These few days so weird, ppl who seldom contact me de, suddenly all surface up.

Got rachel, she ask me next wk mit up? i ask her whn? go where? wif who? (she haven reply me).

Got Nicholas. He MIA for 1mth, since last monthn say wan mit til now, 1mth plus 2 mths,ytd he sms me. But for me, i feel abit tired wif tis type of ppl. I dun like to kip contacting a person, when i feel tat the other party, is like fu yan me only.
He ask me gt miss him? i say ya. den he say wat ya, nth to tok to me?
i reply: wat u wan to tok abt?. den he abit sian den tel me: duno le, nvm u go do ur things.
Den i reply. everytime is i ask u den u reply.u nv ask me. u duno wat to tok to me, wat can i say?
he: aiyo, dun angry kk
me:ok

PS: towards him, i think i nv wan to bother so much. Now is he ask me things den i reply. he nv ask, i wun take initiative to contact him. since in the 1st place is he make our gaps apart, im human gt feelings also, n i dun like ppl to gif me tis type of cold feel, sooner or later i will move away. n for me, whn the feeling of closeness is gone, is quite hard for me to find the feel back again... Seriously, he is 1 of the case, n i dun wish there is anymore tis type of person letting me feel it again... I dun like to haf the feeling tat im disturbing~

Got william. i went out wif him once, n i think i dun wan to mit him le. jus dun feel like... coz 1st impression bah. he sms me ytd. after i think 1-2mths MIA also. lol. for this person, not he mia frm me. is i mia frm him. he kip ask me out, whn free, etc. but i kip reject. till now i also reject.

Sian de... now i think i jus wan faster mth end, den someone can bring me go out eat liao ;WILD
no money tis person dun like to go out de. i tel tis person: i go out also nv ask u pay.
but tis person say cannot~ =_= stubborn...

I dun like to ji jiao wif u abt money matters. Coz to me, eat, go out, how much will it cost? thousands? at the most $50-100 nia mah. n if i ask u to go out, in the 1st place, i nv even think of waiting for u pay to for it.... if i no money i will say de, but now i gt extra de, is the after save money.... n i jus wan ask u pei me go out, also cannot mah?
if i really mind abt money so much, i can jus go out wif those guys n get wat i wan, without me paying a single cent liao~ y i kip call u =_=

I duno alsO~ maybe i selfish bah, nv think of others again... but i noe i can't force also,i dun wan make it in the end is like,after being force den go out lor....

Sometimes jes also like tat. i ask her pei me go out shop, she jus say: shop simi, no money go out also sian. den i say, u pei me go out can anot, i wan buy things, n i gt money, wat u wan buy tel me, i pay for u la. but she insist mai.. den i thinking, not everytime nd to spend money also, window shop also can de... if for eat, no nd to say also, how much can we eat sia.. sian de

sigh~ sometimes i understand, sometimes i dun.
I only wan to find someone whom im comfortable wif, go out wif me, bu ke yi mah? need to be also so xin ku mah (-_-.)

Grandparents_Gong De

2010-01-24T16:22:00.006+08:00

Sat 23/Jan

Grandparents death anniversay coming soon. Uncles, aunties they all are holding a ritual type of thing for them, they so call "Gong de" Exactly wat does it mean i duno. but there are big hse, maids, luxurious car, many many....

Woke up arn 630am. den go out arn 7plus. Thy say the prayer started at 830. But.... in the end 11plus den start! =_=

Go there le, whn thy say nv start so early i wan faint diao.. hai me wake up so early. zzzz

den i started to feel pc. coz im hungry!

previous nite no appetite eat, in the end haf a maggiee mee at 645pm. den whole nite nv eat liao.

Den went coffee shop eat. wah, i ate alot for breakfast. ;shy

i ate 1/2 plate of carrot cake, den 1 egg de prata plus coffee. wah sey. ;shy si wo

Ok, i feel very sian now, dun wan be soo long winded le. I shall just extract the funny part.

In total, whole day i think gt 4-5 prayers nd to attend. each last AT LEAST 1hour. LONGEST is 2hrs. omg sia. 1st prayer we all stil ok, can tahan.

den 2nd one, i rmb clearly last arn 2hrs, tis session de prayer, funny things happen.

We in total gt 25ppl seating there, each of us hand holding 1 joss-stick.

Infront of me is my xiao gu zhang(smallest aunt's hubby). suddenly i see him bend down pick up somethings, den i see again, oh~ he drop his joss-stick, coz he fallen asleep.

Not long after him, is the one sitting beside me, which is my cousin(jo). her joss-stick drop, den i see it drop i immediate look at her 0_0. she suddnely wake up n pick up den turn to look at me n laugh. Den she kip say, did u see it? did u see it?

i say of coz lar! so obvious, u slp until ur head kip nods, den ur joss-stick drop. ~_~"

den she say, hahahaa, okok, wake up liao la, scare dao liao.. i was like ;diao

Den soon after my cousin,is my big uncle de wife. Hers is more pro, coz y. coz everyone knows. Why everyone noes? coz whn she drop, she faster pickup, den she ps say out herself quite loud actually. she say: i listen till fall asleep leh... den all my uncles n aunties all turn to look at her n laugh.

Actually i almost wan doze off many times de, during tis 2hrs. really can faint sia. den after seeing tis 3 cases, i suddenly laugh to myself, coz suddenly i think tat im so clever, i tot of a way, how to not let the joss stick drop off my hand, if asleep.

Solution is~ ta da~!!!

Pro me rite.. ;shy~

i create dis liao, jes sitting beside me, i show her. n she gif me the -_-"(wu nai) face.

;shy i noe i pro, but it really wun drop ma.

After the prayer, i happily take one joss-stick go tell mummy n daddy, den mum say: u really ar, think of tis u very clever huh, den dad see le also laugh.

;shy ;shy

ok end of praising myself. ;shy

Whole thing end arn 11plus. Need to burn those offerings etc, tidy up the place..

reach hm arn 12am le. eat, bath, rest dao lai arn 1am then slp.

No more engery to go audi also. lay on bed n jus ;zzz

dont care ?

2010-01-22T20:06:00.004+08:00

Reach hm arn 645pm.
Bath, eat le jiu straight go lay on bed.
Today i gt a very weird n sad feel.
1st time i feel tis.... i think all this outcome, im the main cause.

Jie hao xin share her things wif me, but i nv control my temper n shoot her again... everything is alright until my attitude. :( say finish liao awhile, we go back to normal.
But the more we tok, the more i feel fishy.

Haix. i also duno how to say... Suddnely i feel, jie not gg to care abt me more le mah?
last time de jie will pei me when she noe im alone. will bring me go eat whn i say im hungry.
I noe she no mood also, she explain to me le, i understand also, i think mostly is me again.
She always dote on me alot, i noe de.

Reach hm, dad n mum ask, i tot u say u wan buy mac? i say no ar, dun wan buy le, $6 ex. dad stil say i go buy for u? treat u k?
i say nvm ar, i nt hungry, dun waste ler...
Den i ask mum cook maggiee for me. coz jie kip remind me to haf dinner, so i mus eat. if not nxt time i ssay de things she dun wan to listen liao...

Den i go bath, mum pei me at kitchen eat. Mum suddnely ask me: u quarral wif ur er jie ar?
i say: no ar... then mum say orh ok.
all the while she pei me sit at the kitchen there eat. i nv tel her anything.
So back to jus now say de, after eat le, help dad fix hp de earpiece, then i go buried my head under the pillow.
Think of it, my tears auto drop.
Den i pretend to be slping.. i hear dad ask mum: nu er so early go slp ar?
Mum say duno ler...

:( soon i wil be ok de. coz er jie say whn take pay le jiu bring me go eat steamboat nxt wk. i believe she will bring me go de...
i hope jie Don't ignore me jiu hao le...
ahhhh, now my tears drop like down like hell, i wan go lay on bed le, in case mum saw...

Love all~
J

apart or not?

2010-01-22T00:57:00.005+08:00

jus now 10plus went to lie on bed... been thru some....~ fall asleep arn 11plus.
Now im awake, n initially i tot i haf slpt very long ler, but no... whn i look into the time, is 1255am.
only 1hr plus had past.. y i seems like im haf slp very long le, now im so awake...
jus feel my eyes very "tiring" only, mind is so awake...
WAn to send msg to ppl de, but scare disturb dao, so i go on jes lappy n here i am, writing blog.

Audi really tempt me alot...
im very happy to see my own char. audi used to bring me many laughter, make me happy n i noe alot of frenz frm audi.. but now, i can't find the feel anymore... no more ler...

recently i say alot of sorry. which i really dun like to say out, especially to someone close.
i dun rmb saying sry to my parents/sis for the past 1/2 yr? even i do anything wrong, i also nv say. Sorry this word is something very impt n seldom will shoot out, especialy frm my mouth.
Except for this incident, really mus gathered some courage den sincerely apologise to her. n im really happy, tat i actually done it. Theres a song called "Sorry seems to be the hardest word"

today, I told my pig, we are drifting further apart.. (of coz something happen again, den i will say out tis de) All the while, i really cherish tis pig alot de.
Seriously, since the day i noe tis pig, til now, i nv change abit of my 'cherish'. even though, some times, i was being hurt? i also nv angry wif pig b4.
Feel toward pig is either sad or happy. No anger.
Today de thing, or last time de thing, or wateva happen before de thing, i dun wan to really say is whoes fault. but for tat invading pig personal privacy, i mus say, is all my fault.

Tears, i think tears is my best fren liao, kip appearing before me de~ last time smile is my best fren, but now tears has taken over smile position.
I wan to find back my bestie=smile.
I don't wan to lose anything=my family, my sis,my pig, my smile.
Can i have them all forever with me?

Pig say i lazy nv post blog... i wanting to tel pig, if u go read back all my 200+ plus i think more than 50% of my post is sad de.
Mainly i do blogging coz i haf things i wan to tel out, but i can't really do infront of ppl, coz i m those type who wun easily let ppl see my ;sob and i dun anyhow tel anyone.
Im not like other ppl, their diary is always happy occasion de, mine is abit more of my inner self.?
If not my blog title wun put Other Side of ^me.
wat i wrote here, tone, words, descriptions, is quite diff frm rl me.
Diff in the way tat, im not those who can express well in my speech, rl me i may seems to be a bo chap person, but actually im not.
Everything i will be concern..

Jes quite concern abt me tis time, although she duno wat happen, but she stil console me... last time whn she see i ;sob, she will not say anything to console me or wat de... Funny today, i play until my tears drop, den jes come on lappy, prepare for compy, she see my side view, ask me wat happen. i say nth wor.
then she stretch her head infront of me(block dao mine pc screen) n see my face den she ask me again, jie wat happen ar.
Lol, i see her face i also wan laugh, den i tel her, bu yao chao wo(do not disturb me).

i think i wan say de things, i told pig today le.. hope pig really understand wat i trying to say, n how i feel. Same.. no matter wat, i wun leave u alone de, last time i wun, now i wun, future also wun. Hope u can help to pull me~ dun do things which always push me furtherrrr ler hao ma
**wink wink** ^_^ ;mua

...

2010-01-18T01:13:00.003+08:00

duno y my tears kip falling ler... especially whn the more she dun take it to heart, the more i feel bad...
i think jes saw i cry today le, coz she say tmr she gg tell mum story ler... i nv say a single thing to her either.... sigh~ i also duno wat she gonna say...
Tears auto will flow out now, now writng blog, think of it, my tap auto on again...
Jus now playing games, al the while im there, sometimes misses alot, as now im trying not to use H le..
i wan to train my skills, but simple 100~ I also misses alot.
actually im jus a empty shell having those high lvl.

Whn jie ask me mai talk? i wan to tok de, but i duno wat to tok... all in my mind is sry...
i think tis is the 1st time i feel super guilty n bad towards her... in the past i dun haf tis feeling before... i wan ask her abt her outing today de, coz i wan to noe everything abt her... but tis time i dun dare, even though i so dying to noe(kaypoh) how issit liao...

Im really uselesss ler... do wrong things stil dare to cry so much... i dun expect ppl come console me or wat, some things i said to her now, i dun mean to say tat either.. whn she ask me seriously wan take back my words mah, i really stun there, i duno how to reply.. coz deep in my heart, tats not wat i wan de ending...
I rather she blame me or scold me rather den taking nth has happen before... Now i m very very guilty towards her...
We stil haf some places haven go tgt de.. but after tis incident, i feel so bad, to appear infront of her...
;sobss... im so afraid later i cry infront of her...

aunty always ask me dun think so much, but i really can't forgive myself tis time...
ahhhh.... im feeling so sad n sick ler, today diarhhea 3 times, kip cry... :( i dun feel like gg to work also, i jus wan my bed n pillow to cover my head... im so lousy tis time...

Last time my beloved grandma die, i nv cry at all, although im quite close to her. Everyone cry till very cham, even those normally very strong de uncles also cried...
1st time break up wif my ex, i also cried a few days jiu hao le....
this time rd, i duno y my tears got so much to flow out ler... non-stop de

This time, I really lose to emotions le....
2am le, n i dun feel slpy at all... ahhhh, hope my eyes dun be swollen tmr...

***************Loving_Cherish_Guilty_Sorry***********************************

too far

2010-01-17T16:36:00.003+08:00

......
is all my fault ler....
Tis time i really gone too far ....
Wats more can i do....
I always tot i do things is gd for others, but i failed to stand in ppl shoe n understand more how thy feel... sobsss
i hurt dao ppl liao
Very veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery veryVery very Sorry...
I dun expect tis person to accept my apology, jus wan to let tis person noe, im really sorry.

Moody Sunday

2010-01-17T14:23:00.004+08:00

Recently i feel tat i like to blog more frequently....
ppl who noe me well shud noe y...

Ytd can't slp again... all is becoz of my own doings, i saw things which doesn't mean for my eyes or rather is better not to noe at all... last time i see the clock before i close my eyes n slp is 330am.

Today wake up arn 10plus.. but i dun feel like getting up, coz i gt nth in mind i wish to do... so i lay on bed til 11plus almost 12pm. omg, 1 hr laying on bed...
During tis 1hr, my stupid brain start thinking again~ y mus i feeling so xin ku, where is the root of problem. actually i noe wats the problem, but i jus refuse to accept it, stubborn me huh.

Many things i noe how to say, but whn it comes to action, i simply can't do it, lousy me...
Wake up, 1st thing,i on my PC. Go to add/remove programs, den i click remove auditionsea.
Next i go to every drive, search for audition folder, and delete everything. all screenshots everything everything....
Of coz i feel really bad, oh man, i siao dao go delete away something which is impt to me huh...
Next i go browse thru all other folders, n delete away those unwanted de.. den i go defrag the whole c:/ drive.

After defragment, idiot me go explorer, auditionsea website, n dl back the program.. now is 51%, n im still waiting...
My emotion has over taken my mind. tats y i haf such action.

Whn i told sis i delete audi le, she was shock.. seldom do i will do something stupid for some stupid reasons.
I seldom feel so wu nai de~ tis feeling really made me feel so breakdown... i dun like to gif up easily, but y problems n problems kip hindering me..

I think my limit is up to the max... i dun wish to let tis problem persist me in the future anymore... hope soon it is coming to an end...

Im the type of person who likes to haf a runaway tots.. which is not gd, i noe.. FOr me is, out of sight, out of mind mentality.
Ok, tats all for it.. enuff is enuff... Everything shall go back to normal..

Hmmm... i miss my drinking n clubbing kakis so much...
i miss pouring my tots to my 2 sis so much...
One of them, we will easily haf conflict, i wan pour to her de... but im scare...
For d other one, im not worried having conflicts wif her at all, but... is hard to arrange for mit up.
i love n cherish both of them alot, even my own sis also say, i really treat them as my own sisters.. i say ya, i really do...

1 is hard to arrange for mit up. 1 is scare of conflicts. oh... i misses my 2 soulmates so much... Who else can i find now? only my blog... sad rite. Blog, blog blog. im actually pouring to a blog; a dead thing, somthing i can't get any advice or reply from... haha! so funny sia, blog...

something bad...

2010-01-17T02:00:00.003+08:00

i have done something very bad jus now...
i noe wat i haf done is wrong n rather is really wrong to do tat, n im really sry abt my action,
jus some feels suddenly arose n make me go do it...

I tot i haf changed the situation, or rather the __ has been changed becoz of me.. but i was wrong, i think i was totally wrong...
after encounter so many many.... i really tot is coz of me, but in the end, is not.. not me at all...
im really sad n disappointed... time after time, i dun wish to repeat anymore....

Shud i let go? shud i not?
i think is really time for me to let go... Once i let go, i wun hold back anymore...
I noe i will be very sad for quite some times... coz i really put in alot....
Seriously~ all tis while, im really being too tian zhen... think too highly of myself, coz i always tot i very wei da, wah can change __ sia... BUT, it was not at all...
I dun understand y m i always the one been kip in the dark... im being frank to ppl, but y ppl can't do the same to me? i really dislike, really really dun wan...
the whole ___ change not becoz of me.. but is becos of other ppl...

Sigh~ im really really sad tis time.... im really scare tis time ler....

semo semo

2010-01-17T01:20:00.003+08:00

wah, jus finish playing audi... write post le i wan go ;zzz
parents 7plus go out left me alone at hm..
so sian le, i go do my thing liao den go fb play.
surprise to see demz online fb playing poker... coz i nth to do, so tot of gg poker see see.
den i online my fb chat. saw my working coll.
She say very long nv see me online fb, i told her i almost everyday will online fb see, jus tat i appear offline nia.. Chat awhile den aunty jiu come in pm me.

Lol, surprise to see her also... initially i nv tot of gg audi play de, coz wkend mah, try not to, if not conflict again jiu sad liao... den i saw aunty, ask me not audi ar.. lol..

(today gt 3ppl ask me same thing.. no audi ar...
1st one is my fren: he say recently at nite, i reply his sms very fast, den he curious i not playing audi recently? coz last time nite time, i cfm will play, den whn i play, i will reply very slow, sometimes forget to reply also..lol
2nd is tkp(audi fren): saw him at fb poker, 1st thing he also ask me, not playing audi?
3rd is aunty: not audi lolz?

wakakaka... suddenly i ask myself, y no audi? i also duno..
i think i like rl better.. now we maintain a good rl r/s liao, so i jiu try to avoid letting audi make the r/s get worse..

den jus now i go audi wif aunty, play wif her.. before login i remind myself, today is wkend..
but surprise to see my pig nv online, i tot she appear offline, so sms her.
in the end she tel me she nv online at tat time or rather jus log out not long.

today... i think i seldom haf tis feel de... login audi happily, n logging out happily...
But of coz i wun take things for granted, to me, got is a bonus, dun haf jiu dun haf lor, dun take it too hard to heart.

WAkakaka, funny sia, my jie gg mm soon... cute de, i hope she can expose more to outside, mit up wif more new frenz... i sense tat she is really stress, but is norm bah~ lols, she mus be kip thinking of many many reasons to avoid tis meet out bah~ wakakakaka
Hope her outing will be a enjoyable one...

o.o"

2010-01-16T17:08:00.003+08:00

Frm morning till now i haven online play audi yet...
Wake up at 10plus 11, watch tv till now...
Meanwhile clearing my fren list at tagged, friendster, msn... Suddenly delete many "strangers" le...
Also clearing un-used programs at my desktop.... now abit better, more memory...

Sian le~ stomach whole day feel so uneasy...
Wanted to go library today de, but so lazy ler.. lol, but is ok, at least something is acomplished today...

Later at nite, sis n parents not at hm, im alone again ler~
Sigh~ shall find things to occupy myself liao.... :(

Ahhh~ so slpy now, later finish watching Ch 8 show, wan go nap nap liao~
Shall conti blog again...~~~

Fountain of Wealth

2010-01-15T22:46:00.004+08:00

Today i on leave.. Clearing leave slowly, stil gt left 4.5days by end of march nd clear.

I also duno whn to clear lor.. :( clear le, stay at hm also sian, like abit wasted...

Today wif jes, mit Erjie n aunty for lunch at shenton side.

i think is my 1st time go shenton way there eat sia.. aunty recommend de prawn noodle, very nice.. plus rojak, fruits, NICE!! Ty aunty for the treat.

After lunch, me, jie, sis go suntec shop shop.

Den we saw the fountain of wealth gt ppl, den we 3 "mountain turtle" nv go before, go try.

Keke, the water very cooling, den make wish also...

Shop arn Suntec til 4plus, sis go mit bf, me n jie go Jurong.

Wee! gg there for Omni Theatre de Under The Sea...

Wah, i super long nv go omni theatre liao, plus is my fav underwater scene.

Show starts at 8pm. Duration 40mins.

Keke, after watching, so happy, is really a nice show!!!!

Reach hm arn 10plus.

Im very happy today ~

Meet up wif aunty n jie.

Go omni theatre watch my fav underwater show.

1st time go fountain of wealth make wish.

Last but not least, my dear jie took 1/2 day leave pei me. I noe she seldom take 1/2 day leave de, unless for her mum. But tis time she took to pei me go out, i really appreciate alot..

Ty Jie, ty aunty

Muacks!

Beloved Sisters

2010-01-10T13:55:00.004+08:00

My Beloved Sisters

Nightmare

2010-01-10T13:37:00.003+08:00

(-_-.) today i wake up at 6plus morning, got a scary nitemare~~ cry~
Dream of tua ya pek (2nd de, black de 大二伯爺) come scare me...
In my dream, he kip following me, let me hear all wuu wuu sound, den whn i slp in bed, i open my eyes will saw him... cry!

Best part is, whn i was looking at the mirror, suddenly he appear behind me... cry!!!!!!!
Scare si wo...
Den i scare until i cannot breath, den i say prayer, the nan mo guan shi yin prayer觀音... >.<"
Whn i start saying in my heart, i hear the rooster calling~ Is morning liao~~~
Haiz, i scare dao jump out of bed wan call sis up de, i scare she smack me, den i wan run to mummy rm call her de, but in the end....i go msg er jie. den surprise she reply me sia <3

So Scary~ scary~ scary~~~~ sobsss

sot me

2010-01-09T05:04:00.006+08:00

Wow~ i think i really siao liao...
1st time play audi til 5am.
Pengzz....

Sian le... morning liao, time for me go zzz.... wat time will i wake up tmr le... wat shud i do tmr le.... omg omg...

Shopping wif mummy

2010-01-08T23:22:00.005+08:00

Today i on leave.. 10plus 11 wake up..
Straight away walk to living rm say: Mummy, where u wan to go today? u wan go anywhere mah? i on leave lei~
Mum: Er... no where, no place to go also, stay at hm lo...
me: har~~~~ hmmm.... stay at hm huh, er... lets go buy 4D?
Mum: u go urself la, i tired...
Me: semo wor... go myself, mai la, u pei me go leh...
Mum: orh ok lor

After tis i go wash up ;shy.. den mum suddenly say, aunt kip say u promise her wan go eat the jap food at northpt wif her, but u nv.
Me: oh ya hor~ so many mths liao, haven bring her go... Wee!!! den we go lo!! haha, i bring u go shopping!
Mum: i no money leh...
Me: wkakakaa, ur nu er got bonus, gt extra cash, can bring u go shop n eat liao.. u can dun bring money out, bring ezlink n ic jiu hao.
Mum: Hahahaa, i dun dare dun bring money out, lata u no money pay..
Me:.......

Today i spend arn $100.
Buy mummy a top.
Buy korean tibits. Almost pay double the price, lucky mummy saw they key wrongly, den buy extra wan let ppl try de, but think now can eat myself liao...
Spin 2 toy, not hello kitty de.. (omg, recently siao wif spin toy toy liao sobx)
Eat, drink, etc...

Mummy very happy, come hm she wan return me $$ but i mai... buy for her cny de. den dad come hm, she tel dad i buy clothes for her..

Now is 1230am.. omg shit, i can stone n look at tis blog for 1hr, w/o writing alot. ma de. Over at lappy is audi stoning in aunty rm.. ;wild
mai write liao...

Overall im very happy, can go out wif mummy, buy things for her, eat, drink, shop. Den come hm arn 10, go compy, den after tat afk go fb save all the audi pics out, den after tat hmmm.....

Yippeee!! ErJie Pic

2010-01-08T01:27:00.003+08:00

7 January (Thursday)
Suntec,Marina,Flyer

Wee! Wee!!

Finally i get to take pic wif er jie liao...
After 4mths.. finally i get to take picture wif her! Fulfil my wish liao, keke. happy happy :D
Initially ask her, she kip mai, den abit sian, den i kip ask til abit argue.. Then i think, nvm, stil got chance.. i thinking if normal go out days nv take, den i wait till either her bdae in May or mine in July den take de chance to ask her take pic.
She seldom take pic de, so i understand lo...

Today in office she ask me gt bring cam mah. den i told her no, bring for wat.
then she ask wan take pic mah.. wah, i see liao shock dao.. lols, yeah! can take liao..wakakkakakaa!!

Today after work mit jie, jade, tomo, yun. First time meeting tomo n yun. keke, thy 2 very friendly n cute dee.. haha~ but thy say i quiet neh~ i noe im quiet, maybe not familiar bah~;shy sometimes i see who is tat person de... not really tat i go out many times jiu will tok alot... im choosy huh ;shy

Then proceed to flyer there eat the popeye chicken.. quite nice. First time eat tat.

Today 1st time call her jie. I also duno y i suddenly go call her instead of go infront of her tel her things.(go out wif her so many times, today 1st time call her). She was walking infront of me, den i suddenly gt things wan share wif her, den i call her jie.. den she nv turn back, i kip call, i think gt at least 4-5times, den she turn back reply me sia.. faint.. at tat pt i called 2nd or 3rd time she nv reply me, i was liek er..... orh ok :(
But whn she finally turn arn ans me, suddenly feel relieve sia... ma de, scare dao wo... tot she dun reg me liao...

Actually tonite i wan go out de, coz tmr no work. But no one ler, jie gt things on, den i so sot dao, i go sms rachel. She is my drinking n singing kakis. i sms her but she nv reply. wan called her de whn we are on our way to take train. but 2nd tot, nvm bah~ fated, she nv reply me, maybe ask me dun go drink bah~
Den whn i online fb jus now, she send me msg say her hp forget to take out today. faintz.. so zun de! den she ask me nxt wk whn free mit out... hmmm... seee if i can try to drag dajie out anot... i stil haven gif her the gift lo.
Msg dajie 2nd day liao, whn she free, but she haven reply... nvm, shall ask again nxt wk le..

nv go also gd, can play audi wif jie, den now i writing blog 2am liao.. lol... healthy lifestyle again..

Wan go 2times millenia walk, but failed sia.. lol.. not disappointed actually, coz i jus wan go candy empire buy a mashmallow thing... jes tat time kip buy hm for us to eat, cost i forget liao.. but not cheap also... suddnely think of tat, den i wan buy for jes n jie eat.
Duno jie gt eat before anot, but i seldom eat mashmallow de, i quite like it. wan let her try.
For jes, i very long nv see her buy hm eat liao, last time she love it de, kip buy...

Oh, upcoming is a long weekend for me.. keke, tmr on leave. wan to go out, but again.. no ppl sia... jiu ming~ tmr is jie's mum bday, keke, wish her mummy happy bday, healthy, cheerful, wealthy!

i wan to make full use of my long weekend, other than audi. wakakkakakaka..

i got photos liao!! wee wee!!!
Wif dajie, noe her 3yrs, individual pic wif her i think only 4. omg la, so little, laugh die ppl sia... but is ok, better than none.
Wif erjie, noe her less than a yr, individual pic wif her so far is 1. today take de!!! hope to have more in the upcoming years ahead...
Wif xiaomei, lol, countless liao... keke My cutey xiaomei

To others, maybe taking photo wif ppl u wan is jus a easy task. but to me, wah sey, abit hard. personally other than jes, i seldom take pic wif ppl. But for my 2 elder jie, i wan take wif them, can kip it for memory.. keke.. omg, so happy.. today remind me of last time., whn dajie took pic wif me.. lol, i also happy for very long... wakakakakkaaka =x

Today i got mint ice cream, got take photo, got to see flyer(but nv take) in close range, gt a ice cream keychain(exactly de same i buy for sis) frm jade, 1st time eat popeye chicken.

---------------------------------------Yippeeeeee--------------------------------------------

Wrong

2010-01-06T01:32:00.004+08:00

after today's incident, i also gt wrong... very sad also.. i wun wan to quarral de...
After Toking wif aunty, frm the chat, really, there are some blind spots, i nv notice.
Especially to her, sometimes i really go too far le bah~

everytime she has to gif in to my unreasonable, weird, wateva shit attitude i gif her... seriously beside my family, she is the nxt one who is so tolerant towards me.
But sometimes i jus take her for granted without realisation..

More freedom, more respect, more consideration? i think tis is all i lack to gif her... i may haf given or share wif her many new things in life but i feel tats not enuff huh...

I think part of my "bad" attitude towards her like tis, maybe coz im too protective towards her huh.. i really duno y~ i jus noe, i treat her is like treating my own sis, Own family...
I really duno wats her feel, will she feel stress? defensive?

Ahhhhh~ how le, i really duno~ i jus wan we all can happily- play tgt, go out tgt, tok tgt.. tats all... i really dun like arguements, quarrals, watever.. coz to me, once the thing is broken, no matter how hard we fix, there will stil be scar... forgive n forget? forgive but nv forget? which one is me?
i believe both of us is the same... we hold back our temper alot le huh... lol, of so many ppl, towards her, i really hold back my temper alot, i think i nv show her my temper before? (in rl). Even in audi, we kip having conflicts, but whn comes to rl mit, i nv wan to bring the topic out to say also.. hmm, i stil like the rl her.

Sometimes i really feel very xinku, kip sad de...
i think both of us feel the same thing also... she is those type who seldom wan to voice out, unlike me... at least i gt blog to pour, she got who? me? lol, but if she quarral wif me, i dun think she will pour to me so much bah~ her forgiving level is really high de~ unlike me :(
but so far, i very direct n frank to her. i can feel she is also bah, towards me... but if my feel is inaccurate, i hope she will bah~

Sometimes she say she feel guilty towards me, always make me sad... is the truth she is always the reason tat make me sad, but seriously i nv blame her at all, coz i understand, i also play a part in it. Everything takes 2 hands to clap..

cry! wat happen to me ler.... im sooooo.. haiz no words can describe me liao... im so bad but yet so fortunate got her... cry~!! i tot baddie will haf no gd end, why i got nice ppl arn me, doting me so much?

I really love tis jie de, as much as i love my family... sobss* i nd to reflect again~ i shall improve

Tired dee stktake at PB ion

2010-01-05T08:33:00.004+08:00

Jus woke up.. later 10am then start work.
Ytd gt stktake at ION PB, 1plus den reach hm... ~_~ shorthanded... mostly is backend staff doing the work..
On the way back, a malay taxi uncle kip tok to me.. he complain to me no sales de, he ask me many things, i work where, go watch movie ar yso late, etc etc...
I think my whole journey back hm, he kip chat wif me sia... ;shy

Stktake:After lunch 2pm go there do til 7plus 8 den go for dinner..

Dinner time, we n finance grp, total 8ppl thinking wat to haf for dinner. then boss say either crystal jade or kfc. keke, kfc neh~ wee! i wan kfc... then i tel sl can i dun go crystal jade mah, ex de, most impt is i haf craving for chicken!
But some finance ppl dun like kfc.. so sl say she pei me eat kfc lo, in the end, i go tel boss i wan eat kfc, u all go ahead n eat crystal jade, den boss say okie~ then she bring the whole grp go kfc. i was like huh! (@_@) ;shy
Thy all say nvm ar, eat kfc jiu kfc lo.. then all turn arn look at me say xiaomei like to eat fast food mah~

After dinner, WEnt to shop awhile, i wan to find a small pouch which can put 3-4 cards n some cash, but hard sia.. went to coarch *coach*, burberry, braun buffel, kate spade, Taka, also dun haf the one i wan sia.. -_-
Tat time saw de is braun buffel $60+, but tat time no spare cash,Now i gt money to buy le, but no more liao (-_-.) Sigh~ nvm, slowly find again

1st time i do stktake do until i feel very tired, while scanning, i feel my hand so suan ler.. 1st time i call jiu ming~ coz scan til halfway hard to stop, if not will forget which pcs le, many times i jus hang my hand arn the shelf, den rest. argh*

This morning wake up vomit.. lol, but nth come out, jus all those liquid... Den now my stomach very pain. maybe ytd the kfc chicken too spicy liao, buay tahan.
Duno y i kip haf a uneasy feeling since morning wake up... ;pray nth happen ler~
Most impt is dun quarral wif ppl, i very happy liao =x

9 le, time go prepare for work...
***************************zoom********************************************

31 Dec Countdown to 2010

2009-12-31T19:38:00.002+08:00

31 Dec 2009

today is last day of 2009 ler!
Duno y not really high mood neh~ ppl all excited abt countdown, party, wateva... sigh~

My pay is in le, gotten bonus also. but my bonus gone liao... all pay things liao... ahhhhhh~ money go so fast ~_~
Work til 1pm today, after work mit mummy n sis went shop n save buy things, buy 4D also...
Wee! i bought 2 bottles of heinken ler~ coz i noe if i go out drink, someone sure say me de, den the possibility of me getting drunk outside tis time is higher...
Today spent arn 30plus at SnS. come back mum pay me back, i mai, coz i take pay ler, i pay, but she insist ask me take at least 1/2 back... crY!

Ahhhh~ sis n her bf went countdwn later at marina. Initial tot is wan ask er jie go de, but i noe she no mood also. coz i think she nv go countdown before. but is ok, still got other chances to go de ^_^

Today-sun i think i'll not be gg out also... Ahhhhh~ dead, i so down de... si liao...
I feel so weak n sad ler.. Kip sneezing, flu, fever.. jus feel really sick ler~ sobxx

Wish in 2010~
For Family:
-Wish them gd health, more wealth
-Hopefully can save up by end of 2010, bring whole family go overseas, if save more than go taiwan, if not den Bangkok.
-Earn more help them repay debts
-Save up extra buy car.. (Me n daddy aim suzuki swift for the past 1yr le...)
(Im thinking of changing job after June, higher pay, higher chance to fulfil)

For Dajie
-Hope she dun kip work OT, til nv take care of health. She is becoming slimmer each day.
-Wish to meet up wif her more often, as in 2009, we seldom have time to meet up, i really miss the days whn we went out. Drink, talk, sing... Very long nv have a long sharing le...
-Hope she will be happy always, dun always stress abt money. Health is prior.

For Erjie
I tel erjie lots of things i wan do/go de. LOLx... nowadays anything i think of, i sure ask her =x
-Go eat Ice Cream buffet
-Bring her go omni theatre (she nv go b4 neh~ i wan go also cos gt my fav marine show screening)
-Go kelantan lane there eat laksa
-Go bugis eat Mala Steamboat (hope can ask dajie along, can eat tgt)
-Hope can take one photo wif her~ know her so long le, nv took once at all :(
-Hope in future can have chance go oversea wif Erjie... Best is KL 1st, i nv go before...
-Wish Erjie can stay happy always, as she is those easily contented type, so if she is down, den something mus be very wrong liao...
(I understand temp for now, hard to really say can fulful anot, but is ok ar... we stil have many years ahead, as i strongly believe we will be sisters forever!)

Last for myself... I hope to do my very best to help ppl arn me... See them smiling i very happy ler. But if thy sad, i also sad de...
I hope i can always bring laughter to ppl arn me not sadness...

I will improve my interpersonal skills, find others opportunities to make my family life better.
I really hope one day i can let my parents spend money without really thinking so much of -do thy have enuff for tmr? I jus hope thy can buy the things thy like w/o having 3rd or 4th tots.

2009 is coming to an end.. Now is 9pm, left 3hrs more.

Refresh back, Im really happy to know, erjie, noe aunty, noe some online audi frenz.
For Erjie, frm virtual to rl, she really dote me alot. I really treat her as part of my family members.
For aunty, in virtual, even she nv met me b4, i noe she really dote me alot also, buy me things, play wif me, chat wif me. Then to rl, same thing as before, she really is a nice person, treat me very gd.. i kip call her aunty, not those market de aunty lo, is seriously the 1 i respect alot de aunty.

Sincerely, i wish both of them the very best in upcoming Year 2010.
No matter is work, money, life, health, family, friends...

~Love you all always~

Dec 30

2009-12-31T19:21:00.003+08:00

30 Dec (Wed)

^_^ today after work mit er jie again~
lol, she take pay liao, wan bring me go eat.. wakakkaa ;shy
As usual, went to suki sushi, den walk arn...
Then at the chinese medi hall, she kip laugh at me regards the duno wat hei mu er thing ~_~"
Till now i stil dun understand wats the diff between the 2 pkts which i asked. ArgH! Next time i shall drag mummy go n ask.

Then i say i wan apple ice blended, she went to buy for me ler~ wahhhh~ keke, i gt ice blended.
Best part is! she buy me the ben n jerry ice cream neH~!! 1st time eating tat, ;shy, i so mountain turtle de.. is really ex lo :(
Next is durian puff~ yummy~ 20 for $9.80. Omg lo, she buy a box for me also...

Today she spent almost $70 ler... ahhhhhh, so much dee :(
I really happy ler, eat, drink, tok, laugh, get so many things today. keke.
Once again i wan to say, im so fortunate le!!!! i dun ask for more liao...

Today i also wan to thank aunty, for buying me a audi moo moo.. omg also, $18+ leh~ Ahhhhhh, hope aunty dun buy for me things anymore le, i dun need ler...

PS: reach hm at nite, looking forward to play wif jie de. but some news arose. hmmmm... i can feel she is moody n i can understand.
I duno how to comfort her ler.... wat shud i do?
Whole nite i jus kip quiet pei her nia.. until she say stop playing... She say she tired, but i feel she is more sad bah...
Haiz...

.......

2009-12-28T08:10:00.003+08:00

.................................... (.-_-.)

Christmas 09

2009-12-26T22:25:00.004+08:00

25 Dec 2009.

Today is Christmas. I nv go out.
Wanted to play audi, but... in the end nv. Whole day wat m i doing? Watch Tv, surf fb, nap awhile den go downstairs buy mac wif sis.

Arn 6pm, which is after eating n bath, sis logging in audi to have her love party. Then i ask her shun bian login my a/c, to attend. Then, whn i login, 1st come to my mind is, wat time is er jie's lp ler? Then i ask sis trace whether she is stil tagging? but wat i saw is, she is in the cpl dance rm.
Then i pm her how le?
Sad to noe tat, she can't manage to achieve in time, as she say she alone tag til 3plus den she gif up.Upon knowing tat, i was really sad. But i did not understand her feeling at tat pt, kip probing her why cannot... Then i sensitive go say her reply to me seems so buay song.
Resulting her becoming more sad, then she log off...

Wah, she really affect my mood also neh~ I kip thinking, y y y! why afternoon time i nv login n ask her tag til how liao.. If i haf do it, she shud be able to make it ler~ crY!

But after tat she gt sms me. I feel is really my fault, at tat pt i shudn't ask so much de. I also duno how to console her. Think back, whn i was intend to gif up babies to attend the Christmas event, i was really sad.
At tat pt whn i told jie dun nd tag babies le, jus focus on her main n jam jiu hao, i was really really sad inside de. But can't show to jie, if nt she will be damm guilty de, n i think will affect her motivation at tat time bah...
If me, i dun mind to sacrifies for ppl, coz i believe thy worth it.

Hope i haf at least makes her feel better bah, wif some lame sms.. After she woke up, i nv bring up anything abt tat le. Jus lame wif her. lolx... Im a lame mei neh~ wee!! =x

Everything shud be fine le bah~ I believe her pattern almost quite similar as me bah.. as long as dun bring up, den we will jus let it go, n move forward.

Nite time, whn I was blogging half way, den jie ask jes i slp le mah.. duno issit she miss me sia, LOL.. i mean miss someone who can talk-back to her? lame wif her? =x

Normally i very lor soh de, i write one blog can be as long as 2hrs.
Not long after blogging, i login !
Wee!! Den aunty also inside, i tel jes,
wahhhh~ I really miss the times whn me, jie, aunty, jade playing tgt, laugh tgt ler...
Old times are stil the best.

Then i see wat jie is playing, n noe tat she is earning $_$ sia. LOL.. gdgd, she "spent" so much, Mus "earn" back also.
Then i go find aunty play. But my stupid PC, really giving me problem, make me vomit blood.
Lag si wo~ Kip hang screen crY~

Funny is, jie say my nick hard to type, coz her macro sot diao. I ask her gif me money change nick, lol.. Actually i jus kidding wif her only, but she take it serious sia. OMG, initially i forget can send as gift de, den suddenly i tot of my ex audi cpl also send me change nickname de items for me. I almost wan faint diao, hai jie spend $ again on me :(
I change my nick to XP. LOL, change liao, whn i chat, i see my nick so funny sia..
Omg neh~ But i love it very much.. Coz tis nick long time ago i wan change liao... Ask me spend on myself i rather buy things for others lor... tats y drag til now.. Most of my audi items is either jie or aunty gif de, or free frm audi de... :D

Suddenly i saw my baby ginger come in sia. LOL, so happy... coz pig come in play wif me n aunty le.. keke~ As usual, laughter is there, everythings feels so gd...
And it has gif my Christmas day, a nice n happy fullstop.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Christmas Eve

2009-12-25T23:08:00.004+08:00

24 Dec 2009

Today company work 1/2 day till 1pm. At arn 11plus, our logistic n finance dept got a gift exchange session. Each of us buy one gift le then draw lots see u have chosen whoes pressie.

Keke, i think i damm lucky, i draw my own pressie sia...

Lols! before taking the lot, i was thinking~ will i be so heng to draw back my own gift?

Tio 4D got so zun jiu hao, keke

Finally, 1250pm le!!! Wee Wee, n im out of my office. Opps, btw, im not a snake, boss say go off early de, im jus a follower nia wor ~shy~

Yesh! Time to mit er jie liao.. she called me while i was walking out of my office towards bus stop. Can't really hear wat she say, den she hang up... or issit i hang up? lol, i also duno~ den at bus stop, wahhh, the wind big dao~~~~~ my hair all messy, anw, not impt also.

haha, den i call jie ask her semo shi. den she say i send her blank sms. *wondering* i got meh? or issit boss help me pack bag tat time press dao de, coz before that i wan send er jie a msg, but boss n coll kip rushing me go toilet 1st den nd zao liao..

I kj run to toilet, so haven even start to type my msg. Lol!

In my hand is a paper bag, containing 5 presents. keke, but abit mafan, coz gg see dino wif er jie, bring tat bag of presents abit nt convienent. In the end, decide to put at er jie hse.

Wee!! 1st time gg to her hse sia. initially i dun intend tat she will ask me go up her hse put de, coz of some personal reason, i understand also.

So i jus walk to her blk den call her. but surprise, she tel me which floor sia. wakakkaa, so kj.. *shy* anw, nv go in la, jus put le jiu go liao. then hor jie de mummy is a very nice person neh~ keke

Sian lo, kip raining all day, how to go dino sia... den we proceed to Lot 1 1st, i wan find my ex colleague, which i always call her aunty. Wee wee! finally get to see her le, after so many yrs.. she is so happy to see me also. before i left, i rmb, she still pat my shoulder tell me: xiao mei, really thank u for coming n visit me... next time must come again ok?

Wah, her words really made me so happy n touched.

After lot 1, we proceed to dino world !! weee!!! wakakkaa, luckily, the rain has stop liao. wakkakakaka, so excited sia. but day before tat, i forget go see again take semo bus go, or check where is the shutter bus stationed. in the end, we went to search for it neh~

Reach liao, finally!!! Very happy. I think not more than 10 steps, i can't see er jie beside me. i turn arn, she standing there. Lol, she afraid sia.

Omg neh~ my er jie has a phobia of seeing dino, coz of her past dream. I can see she is really afraid to move forward, she kip say wait for me at entrance, ask me go in myself... well... i almost fainted, den kip thinking, omg sia, how to persuade my dear jie go in neh~

Bo bian lo, go push, drag, talk, wateva stunts all perform liao.
LOL! in the end, WE finish the dino trails ! Wee!! Wee!!

Next station is... Jurong point. Then to.... IMM...

Last to... Causeway point!!

We are catching a movie at cwp at 1145pm. Alvin n the chipmunks. Long time nv see midnite show le. Overall is a nice n funny show sia~! wakkakaka..!

Today, im really happy. I get gifts. I get to go dino, get to see movie.

Today is the 1st time spend so long with er jie. hmmm...

1st time spend christmas eve wif a ger?

1st time watch midnite show wif a ger?

I know er jie really dote me alot. if not she wun do so much for me le. Even though she so scare or reluctant to go dino she also go for the sake of me.

Everything she do for me i noe de. Really thanks er jie.

Thanks for all the ppl who gif me presents.

Really thanks alot~!

These are the gifts that i receive.

-Hello kitty mouse + sticker is frm Er jie

-Earphone is frm Ice aunty

-Hello kitty sweets is frm Shi Fu

-Mechanical pencil is frm CM

-Paper Clip cup holder is frm Boss

-Card games is frm finance coll

-Small cat pouch is frm forwarder

Green Apple Ring

2009-12-22T19:58:00.017+08:00

Let the Sweet Story Gingerbeer n Rootbeer begins~

15 November 2009

They registered as couple.

25 November 2009

They married.

Tag hearts after wedding~ until the day we tag til 999 hearts, i took ss of it. Hope our r/s can last jiu jiu (4ever)... (27 Nov)

Follow by is next Love Party, also next level of ring le~! ~Saffron~ lvl 11 (28 Nov)

Chiong~! Finally on 29 Nov, our next Love party.. ~Cuphea~ Lvl 16

Our cpl memo <3

The day we hit the next lvl of ring ~! ~Aster~ lvl 21 (12 Dec)

Finally~! The day we have been waiting for has come... 20-12-2009, 0812pm

The day we get our apple ring.. the memorable day, the happy day ~freesia~ Lvl 26

Everything happens within 1 mth... We encounter many ups n downs, happy n sad times. In the end, im glad to say that, after every hurdles, our r/s gets closer n understand each other more...

There is no need to say who gif out more efforts. As long as both of us have the same heart to aim for the same thing tgt.. is very gd le, can't ask for more...

I'm really thankful towards pig for all these i have for root n ginger. w/o u, solely, i wun be able to have tis wonderful experience n memories... Yes, root n ginger is our audi babies, neither of us is gg to abandon them.. Inside them, have all our efforts n <3

Lets slowly move tgt on to the next stage... my next aim hao mah~?

Ps: although tis time, babies can't make it for the love party on Christmas, is ok pig...

I noe both of us is really sad abt tis... seriously im really sad, but i can't stress on u also.. I really feel ur sadness tis time, as u really tried ur best to let babies make it le, but is jus too much n so less time to help them acheive.

I badly wanted to bring them achieve the aim, but sometimes, things is not always so smooth sailing de, n i can't be so selfish, think of myself only...

Anw, it has become the fact, babies are out of the christmas event. Really sad~

But on the other hand, knowing tat ur main can make it, im really happy for u.. Muacks!

2012

2009-12-20T11:23:00.003+08:00

Today is 20-12-2009
Special memorable day for me...

In 20-12-2005, the day i get the thing all by myself.
From start to end process of achieving this aim is all by myself.
After 1yr of hard work, i finally achieve it
Today is 4 years le...

In 20-12-2009, again, i achieve another thing i wan, but this time is tgt wif the effort of pig.
Really very happy. After arn 1mth of hard work, we finally achieve it...
Suddenly feel so relieve tat we can make it on time.

Using your own effort achieve dao de things, will always feel the most chen jiu gan.

OmG, Im really really happy today. Suddenly i got the same feel tat i haf in 2005.
THe undescribable satisfactory feel.
Seriously, think back, all my hard work really paid off.
Others may think these are easy task, but for me seriously is not.
For 2005 de aim, im not as rich as others, so mus depend on myself to save n achieve it.
For 2009 de aim, i dun haf whole day time to sit infront of pc achieving, so mus make use of after work available time.

Both aim i encounter same thing. Emotional.
Letting your tears down of coz is the way to relieve.
Main factor is from ppl and also frm myself.
I always have high hopes in myself, and i dun like failure(none wans failure also).
High expectation of myself, unknowingly, actually im also stressing on the ppl arn me, which is unfair to them.

After each encounter, i learnt:-

In 2005, i learnt... Even ppl look down on u, we mus never gif up. All the more, we mus do it, not to show off to others, but to ourselves. Everyone can make it, is a matter of time n effort we have put in.
From there, we can also see, who will be those ppl who really stand by u or support u whn u nd support, and those who are not.
In another word, u can see the ugly side of ppl.
I have encounter the unexpected side ppl, the ugly side of ppl.
Where normally thy are so called "nice" ppl.
I came to understand, thats the reality of world~

In 2009, i learnt... Don't make your problem become ppl problem. Must learn to stand in ppl shoe and think for them. At times, i really make ppl feel like sandwich.
Which i noe, im quite unreasonable, jealous, stubborn.
Cherish, think for others more, not being selfish or self centred, don't control other ppl life.

On a piece of white paper, there is a black dot in the middle. What did u see?
1) If u see the white piece of paper, den is gd.
2) If u see the black dot on the paper, den u shud reflect le?

Black dot represent ppl's bad pts.
Don't keep looking at tat black dot, if step back n see again. ppls' gd pts(white paper) is alot more than the bad ones(black dot).

2012 will always the day i won't forget.
These 2 memorable days of coz also will be in my heart.

Dream? Happy?

2009-12-19T11:52:00.004+08:00

This few days i keep having dream.

Wed i dream of wuu wuu at my hse. wuu wuu possess on 1 person(i duno is who).

Then kip strangling me, i kip ask jes for help.

Finally can escape liao, tat wuu wuu person walk arn my hse, den i shout for mummy, got wuu wuu~!!

Then funny part is, i tel mummy: Mummy!!! got wuu wuu, faster find bomb n bomb it!! QUicK!!

Then hor, mum really go find lo... but of coz cannot find la, siao de, hse wher gt bomb neh~ o.o"

Finally manage to lure the wuu wuu out of the hse le. we faster close the door n windows all tat..

Scary n funny dream ~_~

Thur n Fri= consecutive days dream of er jie -_-"

1st day is abt audi de. She n her cpl (i dun like tat dream, hope it wun happen)

2nd day is abt me n her. I told her i got astigmatism. Ask her to remind me on thur to bring spect, as at nite, i can't see the bus no. clearly, especially those LED sign de.

In dream, she kip follow me, hold me, scare i lost. Lolx. Funny jie.

I seldom dream de.. i think my brain really can't rest recently. kip thinking abt things...

PPl say if u dream, means some function of ur brain is not resting, at the time u were slping..

Aaaaa!!!! im so tired of thinking liao...

I keep worry tis worry that. Someone kip tel me, i think too much le..

I dun wan to think de, coz i worry mah...

If not i really dun wan to care so much also.

Sigh~ who likes to be busybody ler~

I feel ppl who are close to me very xin ku lo, thy mus gif in to me.

Mummy say i really ye man, stubborn. cmi

Only i can say ppl, ppl cannot say me...

(.-_-.)

Sigh~ i noe my fault le, will let ppl arn me haf more freedom to do wat thy wan, as long as they happy n noe their limit n take care of themselves jiu hao... I need time to change, gif me some time ~~~ If possible, help me ~

They happy I'm happy too

Impt thing in life is to be happy.

Happy ^_^

2009-12-17T23:06:00.003+08:00

Today wake up at 10plus. coz ytd slp at 3plus 4.. tagging for babies.

Arn 1pm go out, buy 2nd part of the present for tis close fren (pig actually). Finally get it le!

Everything is done. keke, so happy. then i go hm wan wrap de. but if i wrap, den need the box.
If i put the box den wrap, den put inside my bag. Very obvious there is something fishy inside my bag lor... scare later pig will discover. in the end, i nv wrap le.

I intend gif her during our journey back de. then she kip say abt bus. faint. coz if take bus, den we go separate ways. den cannot gif le :(

So bobian, i kip say i wan take mrt. LOLx.. i noe she wun leave me alone de =x

Lucky she say she gt things wan squeeze inside her bag, den i can haf chance say i gt paperbag inside my bag, lata gif her.
If not i also duno how to bring up the topic to gif her. so happy :D
Think she will love it bah~ lols, after all those efforts sia... wah piang eh~
Don't love it also bo bian liao.. is a simple gift anyway.

Today go aunty hse. lols, 1st time sia.. wee!! excited n happy. Play the duno wat wee game.. nice sia. 1st time play. Aunty de kids rayden n tricia very cute sia..
Whn i was surfing net using aunty lappy, rayden suddenly come over my side n kiss my hand. lols, den i see him smiling dee, so cute.. den i ask him muacks my cheek, n he do so lo... Wakakkaa, 1st time gt baby kid auto come muacks me.. hahah! im so happy seeing them.

Then at carpark, he stil let me hold his hand, keke, damm cute la. Wakakkakkaa.... shy!
Aunty de hubby stil fetch us to compass pt lo, so ps. Both of them are really nice person.

After mit jie, we went swensen eat. Really thanks aunty for the treat lo. everytime she pay de... ~_~ den she stil gif me christmas gift. whn i 1st open i shock dao. coz i rmb i only tel jie i wan buy earpiece, i nv tel other ppl liao... also dun rmb gt write in blog leh...
But how aunty noe de, lols, thanks aunty again for the gift.

In audi, jie tel me abt the ice cream thing. she wan buy for me. lols, but i mai... i rather she save it for other things sia. but i noe her pattern, she rather buy for other ppl than buying for herself.
wakkakaa, jiejie, i think is i wan snatch ur ice cream liao.. weee!!!
Don't scold me hor... Nxt time u can bring ice cream go dancing liao. haha!

Wahhhh..... im really fortunate la.. gt so many ppl dote n love me.
Really really really thankful n lucky tat i haf all these ppl arn me..
Is really a gd feeling to be dote on neh~ shy*

~Love u all~

On leave eve :D

2009-12-16T21:34:00.006+08:00

Wahhh~~~~~~~~~~~~ where to start saying neh~

Ok, start frm working time. Before noon i settle all my things le, coz tmr on leave, scare fri go back gt lots of things... LOLx.. After finishing my work, nth to do, coz er jie sick nv online today.. So i go disturb my colleagues =x

Lunch time, den i start my crap. sl say she gt alot of things pending, cannot finish, nd to do OT liao.. Den something strikes me~! OT~~~~~ **wondering**

I rmb tat time i OT alone, den i heard the 'guitar' sound. hmmm, den i tel her:-
Me: eh? ni yao OT? sure anot? will u do until very late?
SL: Ya la, so many thing haven settle.
Me: oH~~ den u becareful lo, dun work til too late.
SL: why le?
Me: hmmmm.. nth ar
SL: tell me!

Then i tel her my encounter lo... but, not i gu yi wan scare her de, after she hear the story, her reply is: Si Janice, ni hai wo, dun dare do OT liao lar!!!
Me: .... u kip asking me mah, so i bo bian gt to tel u lo :S
In the end, i jus called her, she bring all the work back to do... now 9plus le, she stil doing... :S

Ok, next is, today i 520+pm den i zao. LOL, opps, boss not arn neh~ wee! wee!!
Coz i nd to go bishan buy things. Funny part is, i take bus to tpy, den take train to bishan. Reaching Bishan door open, suddenly i rmb something.. not action city... Argh* is more than words sia... J8 dun haf more than words.

Then call jes where gt more than words, den jes say cwp. so called jie, but she nv pick up -_- coz i wan save time, go buy le then come hm can tag liao... But ok la, she reply me sms.
reaching there, i straight go to more than words, meanwhile i was praying... better got lo.. keke, happily i saw it !! omg la.. althought the thing is not any ex stuff.. but.. add in all my effort. ;shy worth alot liao wakakkakak! shy~

Abt tis gift. a very simple thing. coz i kip thinking, wat to buy for my fren, very close de. Then handmade, for christmas like hmmmm... wat to make wor. think very long lo..
tat time go shopping wif frances, is to buy gift for colleague de, den frances kip ask me, hey u really come here to buy things for ur coll or wat... coz the thing i see all not link wif wat i told her i wanna buy for colleague. haha
Finally, i tot of something, abit link to wat she like? haha!

Tue after work
Tis gift really make me faint. initially i tot amk hub 2nd floor tat one is action city. but in the end is mini toon =_=" but i buy a keychain ice cream for jes. then i rmb frances told me, central those shops gt one value shop, gt sell. so i go, but! i go to the wrong shop. faintz.. i go to another shop tat sell cheap things de, i tot is value shop. but whn i see the sign board i wan faint, coz is not call value shop.. den i call frances ask her. den she told me. at the other end.

Ok, den i quite wu nai~ alone go buy, raining heavily. Den finally, reach value shop, thy gt other pattern de, but dun haf the one i wan! Omg.. i really wan cry sia... After to n fro, in the end i can't get. Sadly, i go hm.. parents see my face ask me y?
I tel them, i cannot get the gift :(
Dad say where can buy? i drive u there? but i say is ok. tmr i go other place buy...

Wed after work (today)
I go bishan, but wrong store in the end. So proceed take mrt to wdl. =_=" i seldom take mrt de. faint, very very squeezy... den finally, reach wdl le. go buy le.. happily go take mrt back.
Lucky back to amk side, nt squeezy.. keke.
Then, jes call me, ask me buy hao le ar? den i say yeah!! finally!!
den she tel me, but hor, hse dun haf nice de wrapper.
Wah piang, i hear liao i wan faint.
Bo bian, go my hse opp see gt anot lo...

After everything... finally reach hm le... i was so happy n tired.
Happy coz i buy the gift liao!!! wakakakkakaaa... but tat one only 1st part.
Tmr morning need to go buy for the 2nd part. they say wed den gt stk. pray tmr wil haf bah~
if dun haf den meaningless liao... cry!

Then jes tmr maybe gt work, no one help me wrap. shyt.
I duno how to wrap de... lata wrap nt nice kana laugh... ~_~.
Anw, hope tis fren like the gift lo... dun like also bobian. wakkakaa =x

Now comes to audi... go compy. can't perf, i play til very pc.. no perf at all. ma de. 1st time i feel so arrrrghh..
Den nvm, go tag. tag like abit wat also... i kip miss. faint. den pig de bro wan use pc. i say let him use. she say nvm.
But in the end, she let him use. den tel me might nt be coming back le.
hmmm... im not least angry or wat. jus tat, y in the 1st place whn i tel her dun tag, let her bro play, she mai. in the end she suddenly tel me she let her bro play. den poof.

The feeling is like.... gif me wah... let me be happy=wee! can tag or play tgt le. den next second sad. coz play wif her, i gt alot of things wan tel her de, coz today she nv online, can't chat much also.. :( but nvm also... cannot blame my pig.
I noe she tag alot le... sick also tag.. haiz my kelian de pig.
Jie mei cannot ji jiao too much <3

Now is 1130pm. after finish tis blog, i go tag them.. hope can find a tagger pei me tag long long, den i do more plus tmr i on leave, then pig can rest more. Wakakaka~ left i think arn 1500?
LOL.. god bless me~

淚

2009-12-13T15:42:00.004+08:00

我不是你想象那麼勇敢, 但我相信，哭过就好了

Tagging !!!

2009-12-13T02:43:00.003+08:00

My Saturday (12/dec)
10am tag til 3pm. rest til 5pm. tag n play til 245am now.
Finally! arn 2am, i finally finish "collecting hearts" for babies ler!!!! So happy til i wan sms jie tel her de... But aunty say so late le, mai disturb her, ask me tmr den sms her.. wakkakakaka, finally, i left 1 more to my apple liao...
Thanks to aunty, she pei me play at least 14rds of chereo- let it snow.. keke...

I wan faster go lp le, den i can tag more tmr, coz i scare wkday nt enuff time...
:( hopefully i can get it..
Very happy today. coz gt pig pei me tag n count score sia... lols, make my tagging more fun...
tag til 11plus pig say tired liao, wan zzz.. tag tmr...
hmmm, gif her tis name is correct de sia.. she is really a pig =x but gd also.
i Dun like her to play til so late... oppss, she cannot but i can. wkakakakakaka!!
ALthough i say ok to her, tmr tag, but i stil brng babies go play wif aunty thy all play cc4. At least can earn 2 each rd, better than nth.. hehe.. Then tmr she no nd tag le..

Is a tiring day, play whole day, my both hand dou numb diao le.. but worth it, coz is for babies mah... took some ss of them.. haha, shall post them all at one go once i get my apple.

3am now... gg to zzz. tmr wake up 1st thing is to sms pig, tel her can LP le!!! see whn she is free.
*yawn~~~* ~_~zzz

Im wrong ?_?

2009-12-12T02:07:00.003+08:00

11 December 2009

This morning, i receive an email.

Hi Janice

I can understand if occasionally you may have urgent personal matters to attend to, and need to do so timely.But lately I noticed and am concern that you are very active on your personal gmails/chat – I do notice that the window pops up quite frequently enough for me to bring this up to you.As long as you’re done with your official work, you should know I do not stop you from that, and observation is that your shipment advices are out to shops not as prompt.

I have to email on this, as I do not think it is necessary for Ding to know by discussing it openly.

Hope you understand, & prioritize on your work.

Thanks!

After seeing this, my heart really sunk down all the way.
Dec 5 is my 2yrs in this co. I can say that, i have already done my best in wateva things i need to do.
Initially, whn i 1st step into tis co. i totally haf no experience in shipping or rather admin industry.
Since the 1st day (17yr old) step into working society, i haf always been into sales line. To me, after 5yrs in sales, changing to admin, was really a big change for me personally.

For the 1st 3mths, i told myself, under probation, no matter how hard it is for me to cope, i also mus endure.
Really, is a difficult time for me... I rmb everyday i will haf notebk, pen wif me to note dwn everything thy teach me.
Shipping itself, is much more different than those normal data entry clerk. Terms, forms, rules n regulations, import, export, how to send email, wat is cc, bcc, how to communicate wif ppl using emails, many many... Seriously im really struggling like hell.
At tat time, only i can help myself. Who can tok/share/pour my problems to at tat time is none.
All mus depend on myself . Everyday after work come hm is read notes taken on tat day, wat haf i learnt. What mus i do.

I really treasure this job, coz despite my inexperience n low qualification, co. stil gif me a chance to join them n learn.
My dept only got boss, 1 senior(sl) n me. Thy are really nice ppl.
Finally, after my 3mths probation, boss ask me: do i like shipping?
my reply was: no. coz i stil can't seems to master wat i nd to do in my work.
Boss was abit shock wif my ans. then she say: so u stil prefer ur sales job?
Me: Yes boss, pls understand, i haf been sales line for 5yrs. If now, i tel u i like shipping more than sales, is bluff u de. How can 5yrs passion being covered by newly 3mths ?
Boss: u are really a frank person.
Me: i dun wan to tel 1 lie and use 100 lies to cover my 1st lie. Im a direct person, frankly, i dun like ppl to use their rank on me. I dun gif a damm either. Got logic i will listen. No logic pls dun expect me to listen.
Boss: u r really a frank person, i seldom mit ppl like u. So, are u willing to gif urself a chance to learn more here?
Me: of coz im willing... to me, i gif myself probation period is at least 6mths-1yr. Personally, 3mths is actually learn nth... Hope in future, plz directly tell me my faults, dun nd ps.
Boss: yes of coz i will. hope u can do the same also..

After tat~ stil ok de. until arn 6mths later. SOmething happen.
Boss tell me: Janice, i realise recently u kip smsing during work...
Upon hearing tis, i noe is my fault and apologise in face to boss. Why so many sms?
Reason is, before i enter tis co. i m working PT s/m(sales n marketing aka mlm). At tat period where i gt so many sms is becoz, tat time, im a senior in s/m. then my downline nd to go for appt, etc... Is my manager(dajie) help me handle them whn im at work de.
Anything happen she will update me.
Whenever my downline gg out for appt, my hp will sound. Mostly will haf cope up, either late, nv buy, emo, etc etc...

At tat pt i noe im not a responsible worker in shipping co. Im really guilty for tat. On the other hand, i can't leave s/m also, i can't leave my downlines fighting alone.
So, at tat period, i haf to endure wif shipping co. warning, s/m stress... Who to pour my problems? is my s/m manager(dajie) n director(dage) help me thru. Holding 2jobs at a time.
Can't tel my shipping boss im holding PT job outside. Can't leave my s/m job also. Lols, imagine, at tat time, everyday after work, nd to dwn s/m office either brief my downlines or help training, etc... Stress at both jobs.
Same routine goes on for arn 6mths-1yr? Really can go siao, n i think at tat period, im really siao... But i haf overcome it with the help of dajie n dage... Thy are really my mentor, no matter in life or work, i learn alot frm them.

I left s/m begining tis yr. Well, now can focus more on shipping.
For this yr, gt many new stores opening, nd to noe other forms of import procedure, nd to go onsite oversee project, etc.
Well, is gd sia, can learn other things.
Workload is heavier than before le, 7stores de docs need to do, file, arrange dlv, etc.
Im ok wif it de. Even many times, my docs abit too much in my intray, i do OT til nite, i also nv say anything.

Morning, i seldom late for work... 2yrs here, my latest is 1 time i reach at 930am coz of traffic jam due to accident near my workplace. Other than tat, i seldom late.
But tats not really impt bah~

For my efficiency at work, i really duno... Some ppl say im efficient, some think not really.
For me, i really duno~ i will finish my work on tat day, seldom will drag till after work. Normally i do OT is to do filing or billing things, not shipping docs for stores. The past, i reach at 8plus i jus start do do do~
Will finish both countries de docs before noon. Now sometimes i jus send out after lunch time. and its stil within my time frame. but i dun understand, y today, i will receive tat email...

I m really lost. Did i really done anything wrong? Chat wif frenz in gmail a wrong thing? Past im "siao on" do everything fast fast. Now im jus slowing down my pace abit n problems arise...
I dun wan to say Janice is gd, efficient or wateva. Im also dun wan to comment on other ppls behaviour at work. But personally tis time, i really can't accept it.
I nv owe co. anything... Wat i shud do de, i really put in my best. OT wateva, i nv even complain a single thing... Not my jobscope de, i also do w/o a saying anything.
But y?

Im really sad today... But i wun be angry wif boss le, coz frm her pt of view i can understand her... but frm my pt of view i cannot accept...
Sigh~ i wun gif up on my gchat also... coz i nv becoz of chat affect my work. **sobss** sad

Today boss treat me super nice, tok to me super polite, den lunch time i nv go eat, she abit ps, ask me y dun wan go. i say i nt hungry, morning eat le^_^
She is a gd boss seriously...

Ahhhhhhh....... im stil very sad .~_~. Jus now tok to mummy abt tis, say dao i jiu wan sobs. but i nv la, so big le stil cry infront of mummy, ps...
Parents, erjie, xiaomei noe abt tis, console me... lucky to haf them
Now writing tis blog, see the email, tears auto drop..
But i belief i shud be ok tmr le...Liang wen ying gt one song ( 哭過就好了）

Tmr i wan tag tag for babies, monday cannot online, nd go stktake duno til wat time. left only sat n sun play wif babies. Miss~

Muahahahhaaa <3

2009-12-11T00:42:00.003+08:00

10 december 09

**Cheer~~!!!**
Lolx.. So happy !!
Today i got my long john, di gua~~ wakkakakaaaa
Er jie bring me go eat de, muacks ty jie!

Finally get to see wat is gingerbeer liao... keke, next time wan buy n try le...
Wkakakaa... weekend coming~
I hope weekend faster pass, i love wkday more.. coz can play wif pig... ^_^

Looking forward to 17, 22, 24 December... How i wish it can faster come
Wee!! Wee!!!
Tmr after wrk gg shopping for my materials n present le >.<"
Smell something~ my pocket is burning~ LOL

Yawn~ 1255am now... wan upload photos de, but duno y cannot post it... Error in link...
Hmm... Shall try again next time...
*start hermmming*
Go to slp now, close ur eyes, time to think of tmr~~~
ZzZzzz ~~ ~_~zzz ('oo')